Why We Should Not Fear Marriage

The CatholicMatch Institute spoke to Christian Meert, founder of CatholicMarriagePrep.com and director of the Office of Marriage and Family Life in the Diocese of Colorado Springs. We discussed Holy Hour for Marriage, CatholicMarriagePrep.com, and National Marriage Week.

How was CatholicMarriagePrep.com established? 

In 1998, the former Archbishop of Denver, Charles Chaput, invited the French Community of the Beatitudes to start a house of prayer in Denver, and he asked the Community to do something for the families of the area. The following year my wife, Christine, and I led a small group of brothers and sisters and started a new Marriage Prep Program. This program is centered around Christ and follows the teachings of the Catholic Church and John Paul II Theology of the Body.

In 2004, the Archdiocese of Denver asked us to help engaged couples who were unable to attend classes. This led us to launch the Online Agape Catholic Marriage Prep program, which celebrates its 12th anniversary this year.

What is the goal of CatholicMarriagePrep.com?

CatholicMarriagePrep.com wants to help engaged couples start their marriage on the right foot.

Our goal is to give them the opportunity to dig deep foundations for their marriage with Christ at the center. Couples nowadays have lost their compass. We want to return their compasses by giving them a deep understanding of the teachings of the Church and knowledge that these teachings are for their happiness. These couples are the future of the Church and we want to equip them to help build the Civilization of Life that was so dear to the heart of St. John Paul II.

We also want the couples to understand what it means to receive the Sacrament of Marriage and how Christ will be helping them big time, if they let Him. Marriage Prep is a window for conversion. Finally, we want to give them an opportunity to share their thoughts and opinions at a deeper level, and to discuss topics they might never have touched. We want to give them a chance to know each other's heart and mind better and more deeply.

How can married couples begin to have a more Christ-centered marriage?

Prayer, prayer, prayer! Pray together and for each other, and study the teachings of the Catholic Church, read the Bible, practice the Sacraments and you have a good start.

Why did the diocesan Holy Hour for Marriage get started?

The Holy Hour for Marriage was started in 2010 in our diocese. Greg Alexander, who is the founder of Alexander House (a worldwide marriage apostolate headquartered in San Antonio, Texas), told us they were going to hold a Holy Hour for Marriage in their diocese. We saw that marriage was being attacked, so we immediately adopted the idea. Bishop, Michael J. Sheridan, launched it right away as a diocesan event. We are witnessing a worldwide spiritual war on marriage and family. We have to use our spiritual means to fight back and beg the Lord for help.

Why is it important that couples pray together, especially in front of the Blessed Sacrament?

When couples confer the Sacrament of Matrimony on each other, they invite Christ to be part of their marriage. Archbishop Fulton Sheen says, it takes "Three to get Married." You can't leave one of the three out of the marriage, right? As Bishop Sheridan told the Colorado Catholic Herald in an article about Holy Hour for Marriage, “It is God who strengthens marriage by the outpouring of his grace. ... One of the most important ways of entering into union with God is through prayer before his Son in the Blessed Sacrament. It is the Lord himself who calls us to be with him in the sacrament of the altar. Can we ever really be too busy to accept that invitation?”

Do you have any stories that show how powerful this is for married couples?

In an article in the Colorado Catholic Herald, Chris and Mary Watson of Corpus Christi Parish, Colorado Springs, said: “going to Eucharistic adoration helps a married couple by emphasizing that our faith and devotion to Christ is the most important thing in our life and vital to a self-giving marriage.” Mary continues, “Life moves fast, and trying to live an intentional life and avoid the magnetic pull of the culture requires effort.”

While my wife, Christine, and I were members of the Community of the Beatitudes, we went to adoration daily for 15 years. Sometimes the slots were in the middle of the night — 2-3 a.m. During these nights, it was just the two of us and Jesus and we could talk to him out loud. These were very blessed times for us as a couple.

The marriage of our friends Joe and Julie was also profoundly affected by adoration. One early morning, they came to us and said Julie had had an affair. Joe's first words were: "I kill her or I leave her." Julie was so ashamed that she felt there was no turning back. She was to lose her family and be condemned forever by the Lord.

After a moment of discussion, the four of us went in front of the Blessed Sacrament. There Julie encountered her Living God and realized that He was not condemning her forever. Joe also realized he wasn't without reproach. From there, they left together to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

That was the start of a long and painful journey that kept them and their family together, and forged a renewed and stronger love for each other.

Are you working on anything new for marriage building that you would like to share?

We are developing enrichment programs for married couples. One of these is Ministry to the Newly Married, which is a parish-based program for couples who have been married 1 to 5 years. Each newly married couple is mentored by an older married couple for one year, then the year after they have another mentor couple and so on for five years. All couples involved in this ministry meet once a year together at their parish with their pastor.

We are also working on the CatholicCommunicationCure.com. This website is an awesome communication tool for developing greater and deeper intimacy, to learn to open up as a couple, and also as a family.