My friend has a son who is good looking, smart, and Catholic—signaling to single ladies everywhere that he's marriage material. But he never dates!
Shy right? Wrong.
A huge reason he hasn't met someone he finds interesting is that ladies keep "throwing themselves" at him.
"Well hello there, John Paul, sooo nice to see you."
"See you at rosary club later?"
"What? You have a sister named Hildegaard? That's my favorite name!"
Ugh. My friend's son thinks. What a turn off. If I want to ask somebody out, I don't need help. I can handle it.
Guys like to pursue
The trouble is, the ladies in his life haven't figured out that he is the kind of guy who likes to do the pursuing. The more they try to get his attention, the more they come across to him as desperate. Little do they know that all this guy wants is a chance to get to know someone in a friendly way without being expected to go down on one knee after the first date.
So ladies, what can we learn from my friend's son?
There are all kinds of guys out there. Some moves (for want of a better word) work on some types of guys and other moves (or no moves!) work on other types of guys.
Does he need encouragement or he's just not that into you?
The $64,000 question is: How do you know what kind of guy you are dealing with? Is he shyly standing by waiting for a sign of encouragement from you or is he just not that into you?
You might not know the answer if you are trying to date someone you met in the traditional way but you could easily find the answer if you met online.
How? It depends on you, dear members. Because you have to provide it.
It's quite simple. Go to the "In Your Own Words" section on your profile. Tell everybody what you think about who should contact first.
Judging from the comments my previous articles received, there is a range of opinion among our members:
A woman: "Don’t do the work for him."
A man: "I really wish that women would just say out loud that they really like us."
A woman: "I wouldn’t be here if my Mom didn’t asked out my Dad over 25 years ago!"
A man: "A 'proper' lady should never make the first call."
Confused? No need to be!
CatholicMatch not only helps you locate and contact people who share your faith and interests, but also the information provided on the online dating profile can take the guess work out of who should contact whom, first.
Who should make the first contact?
According to a CatholicMatch poll of 2000 members, 48% wait to be contacted. Not only that, but 32% of those are men.
Ladies, do you prefer that a man make the first contact? Is that absolute? As in, you will never even send a winky face his way?
Guys, do you mind if a woman contacts you first? Are you open to her suggesting you email, talk on the phone or even meet? Or is that your sole territory?
Or are you just one of those people who thinks, "When it comes down to it, there are no 'rules' except the ones we impose on ourselves. Let’s not make this harder than it has to be."
Well said.
Whatever your convictions are on the subject, say so on your profile page.
