The War Against "Man Pleasing, Modest" Women

There are a lot of things wrong with modern attitudes today that I can get really upset about. For example I don't like the way men in general, and fathers in particular, are treated. The media and progressive thinkers hold men up as useless unless you need a bug squashed or your vanity boosted. Fathers used to know best... now, they're poised as idiots who don't understand anything and should stay out of your business unless you need money. What a tragic loss of understanding the great gifts and strengths of a male.

But, I'm really aggravated by a current trend and it's affect on women, young and old. It's the trendy perspective that women have to be selfish, have nasty attitudes and get all up in your face to get attention and have someone love them. Sorry, not only does that not work for me, but it's a complete distortion of the truth.

Recently, I read a few articles that prompted me to write about this because I haven't seen a worse perversion of the truth that is the essence of the value and dignity of women than in what I read.

The first article I read by Camile Paglia of the Hollywood Reporter headlined that "...Taylor Swift, Katy Perry and Hollywood Are Ruining Women." I was intrigued because it seemed like such a mix of interests. Taylor is sweet, Katy infuriates me, and was someone finally admitting that Hollywood is ruining women??

But, alas, it was quite a let-down. The author's main point was this sentiment:

Despite the passage of time since second-wave feminism erupted in the late 1960s, we’ve somehow been thrown back to the demure girly-girl days of the white-bread 1950s. It feels positively nightmarish to survivors like me of that rigidly conformist and man-pleasing era, when girls had to be simple, peppy, cheerful and modest.

What?!?!

The article went on to imply that Taylor Swift was targeting impressionable young girls and infecting them with blandness and a "golly, gee whiz" persona. On the other hand, another articled hailed Madonna as "her madgesty" (the word spelled to reflect Madonna's nickname, Madge), stating we should all bow down before her. What a gross misunderstanding of the true value of feminism and being feminine.

I love the word "feminine" because it says "beautiful woman." But "feminine" isn't necessarily describing a female who is merely physically attractive. The meaning of that word, according to the New Oxford Dictionary/Thesaurus are descriptions like "womanly, ladylike, gentle, graceful, girly, etc." Correct me if I'm wrong, guys, but isn't this the type of woman you would like to have a relationship with?

I know a lot of women who don't classify themselves as "girly" because it brings up images of hot pink, high heels, tiny, fluffy dogs and long nails. But they are still quite womanly and graceful."  Their graceful disposition is often revealed in their resilience and strength in challenging times. They love, they create. They don't speak words that sting your ears or make men grovel at their feet.

John Paul II's, Mulieris dignitatem, a papal letter addressing the dignity and vocation of women and I encourage you to take the time to read it. It points out the richness and importance of the vocation of the woman, the foundation of it, being love. He writes:

When we say that the woman is the one who receives love in order to love in return... it means something more universal, based on the very fact of her being a woman within all the interpersonal relationships which, in the most varied ways, shape society and structure the interaction between all persons - men and women. In this broad and diversified context, a woman represents a particular value by the fact that she is a human person, and, at the same time, this particular person, by the fact of her femininity. This concerns each and every woman, independently of the cultural context in which she lives, and independently of her spiritual, psychological and physical characteristics, as for example, age, education, health, work, and whether she is married or single.

If only the female celebrities and modern feminists of today would read and reflect on these thoughts, it would open an entirely new world of happiness for them.

John Paul's words, "It is universally admitted - even by people with a critical attitude towards the Christian message - that in the eyes of his contemporaries Christ became a promotor of women's true dignity and of the vocation corresponding to this dignity" can soothe even the sharpest of attitudes if the message were allowed to sink in.

I am raising two girls and I know they will be out of the house soon and facing the world according to the Hollywood Reporter, which is why I believe it's important for them and every woman to recognize the beauty of being truly feminine and understand what a compliment her nature is to a man's.

In the end, I believe women will find a lasting, fulfilling relationship with a man if they capitalize on their gifts of grace, nurturing love, and inner beauty.

Feel free to send your comments or vent your disagreements at asklisa@catholicmatch.com.