The Hidden Message of the Transfiguration for the Divorced

When I look back at the years of my first marriage, the period of when I was going through my divorce and the years of trying to rebuild my life, I see an evolution; a transformation. Most of all, I see the grace of God working in my life.

During my first marriage I felt a call to come closer to Christ, to live my faith more fully than I had been. That call, unfortunately, was the beginning of the end for my marriage because my ex-spouse was not interested in following that call. But despite all the heartache it was causing me, I couldn't say no to God. I felt I was being transformed.

Fast forward a few years and I found myself in the throes of California's legal system of divorce, working two jobs to make ends meet, and desperately confused and lonely. A change was taking place in me that was very difficult to embrace. They were changes I didn't want but I could not stop them from happening. It was at this time I lost my way. I never stopped going to Mass or receiving the sacraments, but I certainly made a lot of mistakes and poor choices, and struggled mightily in my relationship with God. I hit rock bottom and stayed there for a while.

Fast forward two more years and I was again, in a completely different place. I had removed myself from an environment that was dragging me into a world of self-pity, self-indulgence, and self-loathing. God's grace had brought me through those dark years and set me back on the path to healing. It was on this path that I would experience the most difficult part of healing... facing the truth of my past, forging a new direction, and learning to see myself the way God sees me. That despite my divorce, I was still lovable, and despite my mistakes, I was still important. That despite the loss of my dreams, I still had great things waiting for me in my future. This period of my life was probably the most transforming of all. Like walking across a bed of hot coals and when I got to the other side, I experienced a rush of joy and a desire to go do something great! It was only then I could begin to see that God allowed all those things to happen so He could use it to transform me into a new person. I was stronger, wiser and better for the experience.

For a long time when I would meditate on the story of the transfiguration, I just came up empty. The story really didn't hold much significance for me. All I could take away from it was frustration at St. Peter's reaction to what was happening. Here, this amazing event was happening right in front of his eyes and all he could come up with was "Let us make three tents: one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah." I prayed a lot over this passage because I knew I was missing something. There had to be more to this than what I took away. I asked God to show me what I was supposed to learn from this.

And God did. He opened my eyes to the fact that St. Peter was thinking in human terms. He wanted Jesus, Moses and Elijah to stay but Jesus was trying to show them the transformation that awaited them if they would stop thinking as humans do and trust Him. Transformation is the key.

Are you focused on your life in human terms or are you able to see that God wants to transform you through your circumstances? He doesn't want you to just get along or make lemonade out of lemons, He wants to transform you into a new person in Him. He's allowed your circumstances so He can use them to change you. What an incredible thought that is, right?

I've often heard that the heavier your cross is, the greater the joy you will experience when it is lifted and I believe that if we trust in God, follow Him to the best of our ability, and bear our crosses with patience, we will experience that joyful transformation. It has already happened to me in regard to the cross of divorce, but life still throws some fast hardballs and you have to begin the process of trust and patience all over again so it becomes a constant theme. But in the end, that's what it's all about. Fighting the good fight and standing before God to hear Him say, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

So, I'd like to offer you a few reflection questions:

1.    Rate Your State

On a scale of 1-10, 10 being best, how would you rate your ability to see your circumstances as a way of transformation into being a new and better person? Why is it that way?

2.   Discover The Gold

If you look back to your past, can you see any other times in your life when negative circumstances proved to be transformative in a positive way?

If you don't already, I encourage you to keep a journal as you go through all this. Writing your thoughts and experiences down in a journal is not only cathartic, but it is a great tool for gauging your progress in healing.

Please send your questions and comments to asklisa@catholicmatch.com or reach out to me on Twitter @lisaduffy.