Why You Should Take Dance Lessons for Your Wedding

If your first dance is at the bottom of your list, please reconsider.

So you are planning your wedding, and you’ve talked to a professional baker to make your cake, and a professional photographer to take your pictures, and a professional tailor to make your wedding dress. But there’s one professional that you haven’t talked to and you really should—a professional dance teacher-about taking private lessons for your first dance. Why?

1. It’s fun. You both likely work, plus you are waist deep in planning for the wedding. You may think you don’t have time for dance lessons, but we make time for what’s important—each other. Look at it not as another thing to do, but a regular date night, where you practice hugging each other.

2. You learn to communicate. Part of your vocation is to communicate your love to each other. Dance is awkward at first, because you don’t understand how to communicate with your body as a man and a woman. Learning to dance is learning this communication. Dance takes what men and women desire, and teaches us to express it in a complimentary way. Men, if you learn how to dance, your wife will do everything you lead and love doing it! Ladies, if you to dance, your husband will listen to everything you say, understand you, and make your feel safe and beautiful.

3. It’s a gift to your guests. Your marriage and your wedding reception is in so many ways a gift of yourselves to everyone you celebrate with. Seeing you two up at the head table, laughing and talking (and kissing every so often) is a gift to everyone there! If you learn to dance, even a little, you are going to add such a beautiful dimension to your gift. It’s like the grand finale of the expression of your love you’ve been revealing through the reception to that point.

4. It’s sacramental. Marriage is a visible sign of an invisible reality; a man and woman who unite in marriage are a sign of Christ and the Church; two persons who become one in the spirit of Love. Your first dance is an icon, composed of the crown of creation, a husband and wife, and is meant to be a source of grace. Much of your marriage, including the act of sexual intercourse, will be hidden and veiled…but the essence of your marriage, from beginning to end, can be properly revealed through the art of dance, where two bodies move as one artistically.

5. It can grow with you for the rest of your life. You had your cake, but then you ate it. The flowers will wither and fade. But the dance you learned is something you can use for the rest of your life—and not just on the dance floor. The kind of communication you learn in dance—how to hold each other, how to express yourself through touch—can also become a part of your day to day interactions.

How to pick a dance teacher and what to expect

So you’ve decided you are going to take lessons for your wedding dance. How do you pick a dancer teacher? What should you expect?

Get recommendations from your dance friends—the ones who take lots of lessons and go dancing a lot. Choose a teacher you enjoy interacting with—learning dance is a challenge, but it should be fun, even if you struggle. And don’t overpay! Good dance teachers should cost you between $50 and $80 per hour, though you can get good ones for less.

1. Start early enough. You should start between two and three months before the wedding. If you are just learning to lead and follow then four to ten lessons should suffice, depending on how good you want to get and your aptitude. If you start earlier enough you can always take extra lessons if you need or want them. DON’T worry about slow progress. I am really good at working with beginners who have coordination issues, and sometimes we take the first 20 to 30 minutes working on the first pattern. This is pretty common. It does NOT mean you can’t dance, it just means you need extra attention at the beginning.

2. Get your teacher’s input on picking the first song. Dances are made for a particular kind of music. You may like a particular song, but it may be to a difficult dance, such as a Viennese Waltz. Your teacher may adapt some easier patterns to fit the song, or he may recommend a different song.

3. Practice can be helpful, but is not necessary. I had a couple who was extremely busy and couldn’t find time to practice, but were able to make six lessons. I saw a video of their dance and they had a great first dance! In addition, practicing often but wrong is worse than practicing a few times but right! It can take four to six lessons before you are able to practice the right way.

If you do want to practice, a good choice is to take group lessons and even go social dancing; both will be very helpful to your growth as dancers. But if you do choose to attend group lessons and dances, please dance with everyone! Dance communities are there for people to share the gift of dance with their friends in the community, and everyone knows one another. It’s much like going to a party and talking to others. Plus dancing with others is where a lot of your growth will come from. Get information on where to take lessons and go dancing from your teacher and your dance friends.