The Bravest Thing You Will Ever Do

Climbing to the top of Mt. Killimanjaro, going on a survival trek in Alaska, scuba diving in the Barrier Reef of Belize... these are all incredible adventures just waiting to be had. If you had a bucket list, what characteristics would you want your adventures to have? A ton of risk? Would it need to be something so daring that it would make others hesitate or turn away from it altogether? Would it be something that would thrill you to the bone and bring incredible memories for a lifetime, but still challenge every ounce of your strength? Well, you don't need to go across the world to find this kind of adventure, friends. Welcome to Christian marriage.

That may sound tongue-in-cheek, but I'm actually very serious. All you need to do is turn on your news-talk radio station or cable TV news show for five minutes and you will understand what I am talking about. To dare to be married these days is practically an heroic act. This brief excerpt from G. K. Chesterton's Brave New Family illustrates my point:

There is only one adventurer in the world, as can be seen very clearly in the modern world, the father of a family. Even the most desperate adventurers are nothing compared with him. Everything in the modern world... is organized against that fool, that imprudent, daring fool,... against the unruly, audacious man who is daring enough to have a wife and family, against the man who dares to found a family.  - Charles Peguy, French poet

This quote written so long ago is so true today. The cost of living is outrageous. War and crime the world over threaten a family's peaceful existence. Economies are suffering and jobs can be near-impossible to find. These aspects in and of themselves often make people hesitate to get married and start a family. The risk in committing your life to someone else and any future children in the face of these obstacles is real and scary.

But wait, there's more. The very institute of marriage—a three-way covenant between a man, a woman and God—is under attack like never before and from all possible sides. Pornography, sexual licentiousness and many other attacks are like rip tides pulling the family under. Christian families are the new brave new family and they are under attack. Why in the world would anyone step out so boldly and actually get married?

Because marriage is much more than society gives it credit for, and although it is definitely an adventure, it is still much more than that. Marriage is not just signing a piece of paper or attending an event, it's nothing short of a miracle. The miracle of a man and a woman who are joined together and become one flesh as God designed is an experience more precious than all the riches one can attain. The miracle of bringing forth children into the world, tiny beings with pure souls and the privilege of loving them and guiding them through life compares with no other experience. The family is and was always meant to be a reflection of the holy Trinity. The life-giving love they create is a channel through which the light of Christ's truth is meant to shine.

Because of the threats to Christian families, Pope Francis called the Extraordinary Synod on Marriage and the Family—an event heavily scrutinized and at times largely misunderstood—which concluded October 19 amid criticism and speculation from all sides. The event, which will segway into it's final chapter next year in Philadelphia, was Pope Francis' way of giving voice to families struggling with all these difficulties on a daily basis, through the representation of the clergy and some lay people. His goal is to find a way for the Church to support parents and children in a realistic and meaningful way.

Cardinal Wuerl told the Catholic News Service that "The pope at the very beginning said speak with clarity and charity and listen with humility and that’s what happened... Between now and next October, I think there is going to be so much fruitful discussion in the church.”

Through the discussions that have taken place at the Synod, and the guiding documents it will render, I believe Christian families have reason for great hope as the Church seeks to provide them with the tools and guidance necessary to trek through this world on their great adventure together.

I welcome your feedback and questions at asklisa@catholicmatch.com and you can take a look at my new book, The Catholic Guide To Dating After Divorce, coming out in Spring 2015 at LisaDuffy.com.