Singles, Stop Trying to "Just Get Through" the Holidays

The holiday season can be a busy and chaotic time. However, for single people, sometimes the joy and sparkle of the holiday season can feel lonely and perhaps even a bit isolating.

When you do not have that special someone to make memories with around the “most wonderful time of the year,” it can often leave you more focused on what you do not have vs all the beautiful things around you, even if parts of life feel less than ideal.

I remember the first holiday season after my divorce.

I was living on my own (for the very first time) in my new apartment and waiting on my annulment case. It was the first time I ever had to do things on my own like shopping for presents, decorating the Christmas tree, or preparing food for holiday meals. Sometimes in the evenings, I would light candles as I read a book or prayed, trying to help myself learn to feel okay with just being with myself.

At times, it felt lonely and sad; wondering when I would be able to share the joy of the season with a husband and family of my own. That first holiday season, at times, I was more focused on just “getting through” the holidays.

One of the most helpful things I have found for myself at times when I was single around the holidays was balancing my time being alone and being social.

Enjoying my own company can look like…

• Trying a new recipe or dessert

• Reading a book by the Christmas tree

• Taking yourself out to a nice lunch

• Writing Christmas cards and notes to your nieces, nephews, or godchildren

• Going to Eucharistic Adoration

• Naming how you are feeling (honestly!)

• Baking Christmas cookies and delivering to neighbors, local police, or firefighters

• Counting your blessings and reflecting on what you are grateful for in this current season

Being social can look like…

• Going Christmas shopping with friends

• Ice skating or sledding

• Hosting a cookie exchange with friends

• Attending a concert or art museum in your local community

• Hosting a virtual book club with friends on social media

• Attending a happy hour with coworkers after work

Do not avoid your own company this holiday season because you fear the loneliness. Find meaningful and intentional ways to balance both your time being alone and being social.

How do you do that for yourself in your current season of life? Can you try anything new this holiday season?