Photos Are For Superficial People!

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Okay, not really, but I bet the title got your attention!

When it comes to using an online dating website few things are more contentious than photos. As one who owns and works with an online dating service, I see many of the issues that arise when it comes to posting or emailing a photo. A lot of generalizations can be made when people are scrolling through photos for a potential date. Next time you are browsing profiles, here are some things to consider:

It’s What is on the Inside that Counts

The number one comment I hear from members about photos is “Why should it matter? It’s what is on the inside that is important.” While this statement is true, it is often used by people as an excuse for something they are self-conscious about. Sure, what’s inside matters most, but it’s not the only factor. While it is true that over the long haul, the importance of physical features in a relationship will decline, there is no discounting that it is a factor in the beginning of one. —which means all parts can and should be considered when discerning a potential spouse.

To merely speak about what is on the inside is an oversimplification of the issue—not unlike how some may superficially focus on the exterior of an individual, to the exclusion of all other factors. All single people should be striving for balance. There should be attraction at the physical, intellectual, and spiritual levels. They may not always occur the same way for everyone, but they are the basis for what makes us the people we are. The photos you use on your online dating profile should accurately reflect your physical makeup.

Presenting a Complete Image of Yourself

To effectively take advantage of what an online dating website has to offer, choosing the correct photos is important. Cropping your head out of a group of friends, or cutting out your ex-significant other, is not the way to go. You need to present yourself as accurately as possible in your photos—as if the person viewing them was just introduced to you by a friend. This means at least some of your photos should represent all your physical features—including your face, height, body type, etc. Photos which show you doing activities also help present your physical side, and reflect part of your personality.

What Photos Should You Choose?

It is nice to have one or two head shots that you think represent you best. There is nothing wrong with putting your best foot forward, as though you were on a first date.

Show a couple photos of you with your family and friends. Photos with the people who are most important in your life reflect something about who you are.

Do something. I shake my head when I see a person upload all head shots, or all perfectly posed photos. Does that really represent you? Upload some photos of you “doing something” acting silly, serious, or competitive. If you don’t have any photos like this, make a point to get some the next time you are doing an activity you enjoy. And don’t be afraid to upload a few photos of you “lounging around.” Don’t worry if it’s not the best photo you ever took—none of us look our very best every single day.

Upload Clear Photos You Can Actually See

Nothing is more frustrating than looking through photos in a profile that are too small or blurry. With smartphones, digital cameras, high-resolution scanners, and state-of-the-art photo software, blurry or small photos shouldn't be an issue.

Photo Do’s

  1. Upload clear photos.
  2. Upload photos where you are not off in the distance, unless you mean to show something other than you in the photo.
  3. Upload large sizes and let the website worry about cropping.
  4. If scanning, make sure to scan at a higher resolution.
  5. Ask a friend or family member for help, if you are not sure what you are doing.

Photo Don’ts

  1. Don’t upload tiny images or crop them to thumbnail size.
  2. Don’t upload blurry images (try clearing them up in a photo editing software).
  3. Don’t scan images and leave large amounts of white space. If this happens, ask for some help.
  4. Don’t scan multiple photos onto one image.
  5. Don’t upload a photo that is of years gone by (unless you note the age in the caption). It is tempting to show hair you once had or a waist line you wish you still had, but people respect honesty.

By following some of these simple tips, you can make your profile much more attractive, and better represent yourself as a whole person. Then, when you begin to have conversations with another person, the inside can really shine. Meeting someone face-to-face for the first time is usually a nervous experience, but properly representing your physical appearance through photos, and your personality through email, chats and phone calls, you lessen the likelihood of any unnecessary surprises during your real world meeting.

Most of all, it benefits no one (least of all you), to pretend to be somebody you really are not. Eventually it will catch up with you.

Besides, you should be proud of who God made you to be, and you should be considering a person who is right for you.

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