Do you think a long distance relationship seems like too much work? To Gene and Sally, it was all worth it. Sally was living in Massachusetts, and Gene hailed from South Carolina when the two met on CatholicMatch (read how it all began).
A limo's a limo
On September 16th, 2011, Gene and Sally were married in Sally’s parish, Holy Family Catholic Church, in South Deerfield, Massachusetts.
Gene says with a smile, “The whole day was a highlight.”
But their wedding day was not without mishaps and a surprise. Sally took it in stride when her parish’s deacon arrived at her hotel driving a hearse! “It seems that the local undertaker had donated one of his limos to pick me up for the wedding,” laughs Sally.
Then they were supposed to have flowers on the altar, but they didn’t arrive, and the runner on the aisle was put on backward. “You prepare so much for a wedding and worry about things, but really you’re the only one who will notice when things go wrong,” Gene says.
Sally adds, “Our wedding wasn’t about the flowers or a runner; it was about the two of us getting married in the sight of God—with God present at all moments. That was what was important to us.”
Sally made the move
Sally used to think that she would never leave New England, but after the wedding, she was the one to move.
“It was exciting but nerve-wracking and overwhelming at the same time.”
Leaving her family, especially her mom, was emotionally taxing for Sally.
She also faced cultural challenges living in a place where there’s a Baptist Church on every corner but only one Catholic Church.
“Thankfully, Gene’s parents live an hour away, and they treat me like family,” she shares.
Day to day life is wonderful
Gene, who’s a journalist, loves having Sally, his best friend, there when he comes home from a long, hard day at work.
“It’s wonderful to be able to share my day and my life with her.”
Sally—who had an annulled marriage before dating Gene—didn’t think that she would ever experience joy again because her previous marriage had been unpleasant and tumultuous.
“In contrast, with Gene, I am married to my best friend. I’ve never experienced such love, support, acceptance. God gave me my best friend. Even when things are rough, it’s okay.”
They say that they do have disagreements, but only rarely. “We are two imperfect people loving imperfectly,” Gene shares.
“But in the last seven years, I can count on one hand the number of times we have had an argument or disagreement.”
Our biggest cross
“One of the biggest challenges we have had to encounter is not being able to have children of our own,” Sally reveals. “I began to feel extremely inferior. Time was getting to me. I would wonder how Gene could love me with this fault that I have? I couldn’t give him the family he so desperately wanted—I so desperately wanted.”
She says that supernatural love came to the rescue. Not being able to have biological children hurts, but they trust that God has a plan and a reason.
“We have children in other ways,” Gene explains. “We teach religious education, and we have two Godchildren. We have our students that we love teaching, and God has blessed us in other ways. We try to focus on the blessings we have as much as possible. With every cross, there’s always a resurrection.”
Gene and Sally also sponsor a girl from Guatemala girl through Unbound. They have considered adopting and foster care, but right now money is an issue because it costs thousands to adopt.
“God has filled a lot of holes for me,” Sally says. One way He has filled those empty spaces in Sally’s heart was to make it possible for her to become a Creighton fertility care practitioner—something that she had long desired to do. “I have been helping other couples who want to get pregnant or are having trouble maintaining a pregnancy. Our newest Godchild is one of those children.”
Parting advice for CM members
“I would encourage members to remain hopeful and patient,” Gene recommends. He also says to not to be too restricting when you set your parameters, especially distance ones.
“It's easier to keep people at arm's length and to live in a ‘bubble’ when the parameters don't seemingly match what we want or are looking for in a spouse. The true difficulty arises when we are faced with the reality of our own wants not being in alignment with what God has already planned and put in motion for us.
We were both serious in following God's will in our lives, even though it meant looking outside of our comfort zones. We quickly came to appreciate the challenges that geographical distance presented. Distance forced us to communicate honestly and to develop a foundation of friendship that grew into love.”
Sally closes, “Be yourself. Be cautious. Don’t force something that isn’t going to happen, but in the words of St. JPII, 'Do not be afraid.” Pray. If it’s God’s will for that person to be your spouse, it will happen.”
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