How to Live Intentionally During a Time of Transition

When we're in a transitional state of life, it's often hard to build an intentional lifestyle.

The culture is full of voices telling you that your single years are the party years, there’s plenty of time for real ‘adulting’ later. Right now there are so many distractions, and so too many good intentions are put off until tomorrow.

After all, the single years are the time to spend Saturdays drinking wine and watching all seven seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, right? They’re the years for refrigerators full of Chinese take-out and mindless scrolling.

Sometimes. An indulgent, Netflix weekend or a take-out binge is fun and totally refreshing at times, but only when it’s an outlier. If every Saturday starts to look the same, you’re in trouble. If you keep telling yourself, “Tomorrow” then all those dreams will just stay dreams. Don't spend your days waiting for your life to start; spend them building an intentional, beautiful life that you can thrive in!

Start today

Intentional living isn’t just about turning off your phone in the evening or sitting down to an actual meal instead of grabbing a bagel between home and work. Those habits are important, but they don’t shape your interior life.

They’re like bookends, keeping you steady so you can fill the center with beauty.

1. Step back from social media

Start by thinking of the life you’re working towards. Most of us don’t dream of spending our lives starting social media arguments and collapsing with a pint of ice cream at the end of the day. So don’t start now! I know it can be tempting to wile away the afternoons drumming up controversy on you Facebook page, or complaining in an online group but resist that temptation. I promise, you’ll be so much happier!

Spend time reading a book, going for a run, learning to cook, or talking to your sister on the phone. She misses you! Strangers on the internet won’t. Not only is it an increasingly isolating way to spend time, habitually spending time as a social media warrior gives you an unhealthy appetite for drama. You’ll get used to the arguments, and soon, you’ll be neglecting real-life relationships for online ones.

Instead, use the internet productively, and when you’re done turn it off and walk away. There’s nothing more attractive than a person who can devote his or her full attention to another person in actual conversation. In face to face conversations, or even over email, you’re more likely to listen, care, and actually impact the people you’re talking to.

2. See no evil

Building an intentionally Catholic life is counter-cultural. Our culture loves soaking up all sorts of vicarious sins right now. From gossip and backbiting on The Bachelor to straight up sexual objectification on shows like Game of Thrones, we’re a nation of voyeurs. Television shows aren’t the only way we entertain ourselves with other people’s misery, but they’re a big part of the problem.

Shows like Game of Thrones may not ‘glamorize’ a distorted sexuality, but they certainly capitalize on it. Turn that off! However emotionally enticing it is, entertainment that capitalizes on a degradation of the human person is going to undermine your ability to live a Christ-centered life. At the very best, these shows are escapist fantasies, at their worst, they’re pornographic.

Intentional living is about choosing the good, true, and beautiful. It’s about choosing entertainment that ennobles you. It may seem like such a small deal right now, but the single years are the best time to clean up your entertainment habits. Having a show or two that you watch to unwind is awesome. It can be edgy and complex; or even dark and disturbing. But pick one that doesn’t capitalize on objectification and sin.

3. Embrace devotions

One of the best aspects of the single life is the freedom. It can get old—so very old—after a while, I know; but it’s still a huge opportunity to find the things that make you feel whole. The single years are a perfect time to get to know the saints, pick up a daily rosary habit, or spend more time in adoration.

Building up your devotional life is one of the best ways to live intentionally as a Catholic in a world that too often tears us down. It’s a positive way to live with all the questions and uncertainty, and to share those questions with someone who really can help. Cultivating a relationship to a particular saint or becoming habitual in a devotion is a way of tidying up your interior life in a deep and lasting way.

Embracing an active devotional life now will make it so much easy to continue living an intentional lifestyle later. You won’t have to form the habit of saying a daily rosary while adjusting to married life or raising kids. You’ve already done that! So take this time to really form your faith life into something beautiful and inspiring.

4. One baby step at a time

I know it’s hard. When everyone around you is saying “treat yourself” and “just have fun while you can,” choosing self-improvement and spiritual fulfillment over all the little distractions the world offers is hard. But start anyway! Each little step toward intentionality in your life is a step toward authentic freedom.

Choose to see this year as an opportunity to thrive as an individual, instead of as a preview before real life starts. If you do that, then the years after, whether single, dating, or married, will be fuller, happier, and holier than you can imagine.