Lack of Dating Experience: Concerning or Irrelevant?

“We wish we could give you advice, Jessica, but we just can’t. We’ve never dating anyone else but each other.”

It was just over a year ago that I was sitting cross legged on the couch in front of two of my best friends who married in their early 20s, after meeting as young teens. They dated through the transitions from high school to college and from college to real life – never breaking up and never dating anyone else.

Long before I toasted to love and prosperity at their wedding reception, I questioned why I had to withstand awkward dates, emotional break-ups and the trials of singlehood before meeting my Prince Charming when these two had found true love in a high school classroom.

And here I was, sitting on their couch yet again, voicing my frustrations at why God didn’t allow me to be one of the lucky few chosen to skip the drama we all know too well in the world of dating.

CatholicMatch member Dawn-758914 posed this question in a CM forum: “Do you prefer men with little to no dating experience?” The 41-year-old from Illinois said that she had met a wonderful man, but he had little to no dating experience and did not know how to date. Despite his lack of dating history, Dawn said that this did anything but scare her off.

Dating experience can be invaluable – by putting yourself out there, you develop an inner-confidence like no other, while learning what you need and hope for in a future spouse. But dating experience doesn’t automatically translate to a perfect significant other. Dawn would likely agree that the more significant others that find their way into our hearts, the more baggage that continues to pile up.

One of the most significant lessons I’ve learned along my broken road of dating is that you can never fairly compare relationships. Maybe God knew that I needed to kiss a few frogs before meeting Mr. Right, and maybe God knew that my friends needed to grow together as a couple instead of apart before marrying young.

Trust that no matter where you are in the spectrum of dating experiences that this is where God wants you to be.  You did not get to this place in your life by chance, so rest in the peace of knowing who really is in control.