How to Send Messages that Get Replies

I'm often asked about a "secret formula" for guaranteeing responses. And the truth is—there isn't one. BUT, there are some things that you can say to give yourself better odds of receiving a response.

1. Mention what you saw on someone's profile that made you want to make contact.

   The only thing that's worse than receiving a generically-written message from someone is receiving the same message twice from the same person. If you want someone to take the time to answer your message, you need to take the time to write instead of sending the same thing over and over again, and hoping for the best. Be unique! What did you see in the profile that made you decide that you need to get to know this person? Whatever that was, let them know! 

2. Be casual, but polite.

   Before you press send, reread your message to make sure that it sounds similar to the way that you might speak in real life.

3. End with a question.

   If you want someone to respond, you need to give them something to answer. I hope to hear back from you screams that you lack confidence and that you aren't expecting a response, whereas "I noticed that you traveled abroad; I just got back from a trip to Nice, France myself. Where did you travel and what were some of your favorite sights?" is unique, easy to answer, and really breaks the ice for an interesting conversation. 

4. Don't come off too strong in the first message.

   While you want to show confidence, requesting a date or trying to move a conversation offsite in that first message can be scary. Take your time to get to know someone first and show them that you're genuinely trying to get to know them.