4 Reasons You Should Start the Annulment Process

I recently read this insightful interview with Cardinal Thomas Collins about the Church’s position on marriage, divorce, and communion. I didn’t get past the first paragraph before finding something important to share.

In the article, Cardinal Collins says, “It is always assumed by the Church that couples are truly, or "validly" married. The burden of proof is on anyone who says that they are not.” This is the reason why the Church has the annulment process.

The process allows those who have undergone the tragedy of divorce to petition the Church to determine whether or not the marriage in question is valid.

This is the reason why the annulment process is so important. Without making an active effort to determine the state of a marriage in the Church, the Church will always err on the side of the sacrament—seeing the marriage covenant as valid. For that reason, even a divorced person is considered married if they have not been granted a decree of nullity.

Divorce is a civil proceeding in a court of law tended to by human beings. The Gospel of Matthew reminds us that God did not intend marriage to be ended by men:

So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate (Matthew 19:6).

Jesus reminds us of this in the same passage:

He said to them, because of the hardness of your hearts Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so (Matthew 19:8).

So if you haven't looked at the annulment process, what is holding you back? Here are a few reasons why you should give the annulment process another look:

1. Time to heal. The process of annulment is lengthy, which is one of the reasons that people have given as an excuse not to get started. The benefit of time however, is that it also takes time to heal. I read somewhere that it takes half the amount of time that you were married, to heal from a divorce. I certainly found that to be true in my circumstance.

2. Allow for self-reflection. The process of annulment gives you a point on which to begin a good deal of self-reflection. This is not to imply that people who have gone through an unwanted divorce are somehow to blame, but as people grow and change throughout life, sometimes they can be very different from who they were when they first got married.

3. Work on relationships. Working through the process of annulment also gives a person some parameters on how to manage other relationships in her life. As difficult as it is to say aloud, people who have not received an annulment should not be considering a relationship with an eye toward marriage.

4. Look towards the future. The alternative to being divorced and not going through the annulment process is to never know the Church’s official position. Once a decision is made by the Church however, a divorced person is free in the knowledge of how to move forward. If the annulment is granted, that person is able to date and perhaps one day begin a new relationship. In effect, the person is single and can live accordingly. If the annulment is not granted, the person is validly married and is called to live out their life as a married person.

I strongly encourage anyone who is divorced to begin the annulment process. Contact your pastor for more information or check your diocesan website for support groups in your area.

If you have already gone through the annulment process, how did it help you to heal?

If you would like to have accurate answers to the myths and misunderstandings surrounding the annulment process, check out our resource page and read our helpful handout:  The Top 10 Myths About the Annulment Process.