Are you using emojis the right way?

Use your words!

If you've ever been around me while I'm babysitting toddlers, you might hear me say this in response to whining. You might also see me yelling it at my phone when I get an emoticon-heavy text. Are words not good enough anymore? Is my correspondence so mean via text that a smiley face is necessary?

There is a purpose for emoticons and emojis. They're fun and silly. They're a good way to break the ice. But once that ice is broken, wouldn't words communicate more than pictures?

In a study done by the University of Minnesota, emojis can be misinterpreted in two ways: technical glitches or human interpretation.

Smiley what?

I know from my own messaging that emojis sent from my Samsung might appear different on a friend's iPhone. Often someone will send an emoji on Facebook—which may appear as something else (or often ... nothing) whether I'm viewing it on my desktop or on the app. This is obviously an issue, but not the most important part of the study.

Miller and the other researchers found that a "good deal of the potential for miscommunication may come from different interpretations of the exact same emoji rendering." Two people viewing the exact same picture can see two vastly different things.

According to Scott Fahlman, the Father of the Emoticon, he created the original smiley face to add emotions to otherwise dry early Internet discussions. In 2007, Yahoo surveyed thousands of users about emoticons; 57% said they would rather express their feelings with emoticons than with words.

So what does this mean for us? When I was in college, texting was the "new" popular form of communication. A very good friend of mine would often call me out of desperation in the middle of a text conversation saying, "What is your tone? I can't tell if you're serious or not!" And this was a good friend—not a new relationship!

Words, too, shall pass

Fast forward several years—now we're texting and messaging using only emoticons and emojis. (There are even people "translating" entire books into emojis!) Maybe we're seeing different pictures across platforms or maybe we're interpreting the same images differently. This is too confusing! How is this helping at all? Ben Smithurst summed it up perfectly: "Basically, after 5,000 years of technological progress, we've returned to eking approximate meaning from pictograms."

Here on CatholicMatch, we have Emotigrams—you can say hello, send flowers, wish someone a happy feast day. They are clear and say exactly what they represent. Maybe you've sent a few to introduce yourself or get yourself noticed. Great! But now you're messaging a potential spouse—are you still using emotigrams?

Trust me, using words will help keep misunderstandings to a minimum. A smiley face here and there might not hurt, but nothing can replace words.

Start practicing good communication now, rather than later—when you're married and have to speak with your spouse on a daily basis without the aid of dancing girls, puppies, and winky faces. As even my 3-year-old nephew knows, he doesn't get a snack unless he uses his words.