Do Older Daters Have More Fun?

When I was younger, I never really had a definition of what dating was supposed to be—how it was supposed to work and what it really was for. Now that I am once again single and back involved in the dating scene my thoughts on dating and the reasons for it have shifted pretty dramatically. Today, I am a firm believer that God places people in our path for a reason. These people can be our coworkers, long-time friends or even strangers interested in going on a date.

As Catholics we are all called to live in communion—to have relationships with one another. That to me is the main reason why these days I have a tendency to take an interest in anyone new that I meet. I try always to think about how this new person in my life is here by God’s design and therefore I need to be open to allowing God to shape whatever relationship He sees fit.

In my younger days, dating was all about expectations—is this the person that I’m supposed to marry? What do I think of them physically? Are we compatible? Now, it’s not that those things are no longer important, it’s just that my perspective has shifted somewhat. Now that I am older, I know full well that if God places a new man in my path, there may be many reasons why that could happen—marriage being just one of them. So I have worked hard to set my own expectations aside to focus on God’s plan rather than my own.

That being said, I believe it’s much easier now to cut through the haze of “getting to know you” to see how it is that these new people relate to my life. When I was younger, I would spend all sorts of time trying to make relationships work (romantic or otherwise) when it was very clear that there was no real point of connection. Today, I feel much more comfortable with myself and the ability to judge these relationships for what they are.

Last summer, I had the great fortune to meet a lovely gentleman from this website and we corresponded long distance for some time. I mentioned to him that I thought perhaps our timelines were a little off in terms of relocating for a relationship. It didn’t work out for us in terms of something serious, but he is a wonderful guy and I wish him the best. I pray that he has met someone by now and is developing the relationship that God has in mind for him. Of course, I am sorry that it didn’t work out between us, but I’m sincerely happy to have met him.

This same situation, when I was younger, would have caused me to start questioning what it was that made the situation difficult for us—Was it me? Was it him? Today I can see through the hazy emotional stuff and honestly assess the situation. I was able to realize that it wasn’t me or him—it truly was just the timing. And that, my friends, is all in God’s hands.

There is a new joy that comes from the maturity of being an older, single Catholic on the dating scene. The emotions of meeting new people are easier to keep in check and the ability to see situations for what they really are take much of the guesswork out of how far to go down the road of building a relationship before determining that it isn’t meant to work that way. And really, I find the idea of letting go of someone as a romantic interest to be much less difficult than when I was younger.

It’s true what they say: the older you are, the more you know who you are and what you want. If you are an older Catholic in today’s dating scene how have your perceptions changed over the years?