For the Sake of Your Soul, Belong to a Parish

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The day of our first child’s baptism was one for the books, because it almost didn’t happen.

Everybody was there—both sets of grandparents, some extended family, and godparents—all of whom traveled over 8 hours for the occasion. But when it was time to begin the Rite of Baptism, the priest informed us that since we were not registered parishioners there, he needed written consent from our parish priest in order to perform the Sacrament.

I had lived in three different states over the previous three years and it never occurred to me to register at a parish. We had been living in our current town for about a year-and-a-half, and through some fluke, we had managed to schedule our baby’s baptism there, but were never asked to register at the parish.

When we frantically told the priest that we hadn’t officially “belonged” to a parish other than the ones of our childhood, he had pity on us and went forward with the baptism. Phew!

This narrowly-missed fiasco got me thinking—why hadn’t I ever registered at a parish?

I’ve come a long way since that baptism four years ago. After moving a few more times and spending a year working in a parish, I attest that it is the duty of every Catholic to call a specific parish their “home” by becoming a registered member. Here are some reasons why:

1. Your soul depends on it.

This is where our son’s baptism taught us our biggest lesson. If you’re not registered at a parish, it is extremely difficult to receive or properly document your sacraments. You may think this matters only if you’re engaged or have children, but think again.

All parish priests make a commitment to spiritually care for the souls of their parishioners, through ministering the sacraments and in prayer. If you aren’t registered at any parish, your soul is not being cared for in the way that it could be. And if you unexpectedly die, it could be difficult for those planning your funeral to find a parish to hold it at. Morbid, I know, but an important consideration.

2. It builds community.

In attending the same church for Mass, prayer, and activities, you build routine and consistency in your faith life, which helps you become more ordered. Attending the same parish on Sundays (and maybe even the same Mass time), also allows you to encounter the same people on a regular basis, creating community and accountability.

Committing to a parish that you call your “home” is an important sign of adulthood. One of the biggest marks of the millennial generation is our lack of commitment to anything. Your ability to give a definitive “yes” is directly correlated to the level of importance you hold for it. If your faith is important to you, you owe it to yourself and to the Church to give that “yes” in finding a spiritual home.

3. It’s more than Mass.

The Church, by its very nature, is sacramental and communal. We are united as Christ’s bride, the Church, through our coming together as one body of believers. Each parish is a microcosm of that union. In other words, parishes are more than the sacraments they offer—they are a home.

And just like any good home dynamic, parishes depend on involvement from others. The heart of every parish should consist of committed disciples of Christ who are eager to build it up communally, spiritually, and financially (see Acts 2:42-47). When one follows Christ, the call to serve His church goes hand-in-hand. But we cannot fulfill that call if we don’t actually find a place to plant our roots.

Ready to choose a parish? Here's how.

I've now belonged to four different parishes since the baptism mishap four years ago (not flakiness...we’ve just moved a lot). Here are some tips on how to choose a parish:

Figure out the rules of your diocese.

Some dioceses ask Catholics residing within a parish boundary to attend that parish, which encourages equal involvement and attendance. Other dioceses don’t have such rules, which tend to drive up healthy competition among parishes. To find out the rules in your area, contact your diocese directly or ask a diocesan priest.

Don’t rely solely on what other people say about it.

Oftentimes, parishes get stereotyped. “That’s the young adult parish” was a common phrase I heard about the parish I used to work for. What wasn’t as commonly known was the strong base of Catholic families who attended. One person’s experience or perception of a parish doesn’t always give the full scope, so before you take their word for it, check it out for yourself.

Look for something that fits your “style,” but don’t be too picky.

While liturgy and preaching are important, they are transitory in many parishes. Pastors remain at a parish—at most—for 12 years. Keep that in perspective, especially when you find flaws in a parish (and they all have them).

Discern what you can give and get out of the parish.

If you want to better understand the pulse of the parish, check out the list of groups and activities they offer. If there are a few that catch your eye, both for your own formation and nourishment and for you to serve with, it’s a good sign.

Lastly...pray! Ask God where He wants you to call home, and He will bless you for your commitment. 

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