Her Priest Told Her She Needed to Meet a Man!
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Mary spent over 30 years as a single mother.
After going through a divorce when her two sons were very young, Mary did not have any immediate desire to remarry. Instead, she focused on raising her boys, including one who went legally blind at age 8. “God was my faith the whole way through,” Mary states.
The boys grew up and became successful college graduates with careers. Meanwhile, Mary, 66, was serving as the organ and piano accompanist at her parish. One day her pastor, Fr. Joseph, said to her, “You need to meet a man!”
“Father, I don’t want to meet a man!” Mary responded.
But on a snowy January evening, she decided that she had nothing to lose and signed up for CatholicMatch. She remembers feeling assured that it was a very secure site. “If people are going to pay $60 to get on this, surely they’re reliable people.” Yet, Mary admits that it was not easy for her at first. She struggled with what to say in her profile, and at times found herself looking at profiles of other women and comparing herself to them.
There eventually was one man that she connected with, but when they met in person it was a dead end. On her drive home from the date, she decided she was done. “It’s very emotionally draining…I’m not in my 20's or 30's anymore.”
Mary’s son told her to “just try it one more time.”
Yet, encouraged by her son to not give up so soon, Mary soon got a message response from a man named Ken.
After losing his wife of nearly 38 years, Ken did not want to be alone. Ken, 62, signed up for CatholicMatch on a 6-month trial. During that time, however, he had met a woman and got engaged, forgetting all about his CatholicMatch account. But after he and his fiancée broke up, he decided to go back on the site. He found a slew of messages from months previous, and the first one he came across was Mary’s emoji.
Ken admits that he enjoyed looking at profiles on the site. He found them fun to read through, like “short biographies.” After responding to Mary’s emoji, he looked through her profile and realized that she lived farther than he had wanted, about 3-and-a-half hours.
Mary, however, was eager to see how the connection might play out. Upon receiving his message, she looked through Ken’s profile more closely and appreciated how he had written about his mother. “If somebody loves their mother, they’re going to love their wife,” Mary thought. After a few messages back and forth, they spoke over the phone.
During that first phone call, sparks began to fly.
As they spoke over the phone, Ken soon realized that he had to meet Mary in person, despite his initial hesitations with the distance. Mary quickly agreed: “When I heard his voice, there was such a connection!”
Deciding that they could more easily meet halfway, they met on August 26, 2018 at a college town in Pennsylvania. They went to breakfast, and then later attended Mass at St. Peter’s Catholic Church. Mary admits that there was an immediate connection between them. “The Spirit was so alive!”
After Mass, they walked over to the local college campus and talked for over six hours! Mary was especially drawn by how Ken seemed like such a gentleman, even holding doors open for her.
A few hours into the conversation, Ken realized how much Mary seemed to like him.
In fact, he made three bold statements to Mary throughout the day about their chemistry. At the beginning of the date he stated, “You like me.” A few hours later he reiterated, “You REALLY like me.” And by the end of the day, Ken proclaimed to Mary, “I think you could marry me.”—to which Mary enthusiastically replied, “I could!”
Yet, on the way home, Mary felt flustered that she had responded so eagerly to Ken’s remark. “I could see myself with him, but I was praying that I didn’t screw it up!” Leaving in a flurry, Mary prayed the whole drive home. Ken told Mary he would call a few days later, and she dearly hoped he would.
Sure enough, just like he promised, Mary received a call and voicemail message from Ken a few days later. (In fact to this day, Mary still has Ken's voicemail message saved on her phone!) From that point on they were “never apart.” They talked every day, and visited each other every weekend, switching off with who came to visit whom. Amazingly, they never even ran into any bad weather during their weekend drives to one another!
“When are we going to get married?”
Ken was soon sure about Mary. Yet wanting to remain prudent, Mary kept looking for “red flags” in their relationship. But alas, Mary never found any “red flags” no matter how hard she looked. “I was actually going to buy her a red flag since she kept looking,” Ken jokes.
Finally, one winter weekend before Saturday vigil Mass, Ken joined Mary at her parish. In front of the tabernacle, which opened up to expose the Blessed Sacrament in the monstrance, Ken proposed. Mary of course said “yes”, and they soon planned their wedding for August 2020. Yet like so many others, the COVID pandemic postponed their wedding for another year.
Don't give up!
On October 15, 2021, Ken and Mary finally married. Mary relocated to Ken’s city, so they held the wedding at his parish—a big sacrifice for Mary since she dearly loved her own parish. Thankfully, Mary’s parish priest Fr. Joseph came to officiate their wedding. It was a beautiful ceremony, with most of their family in attendance. Mary’s oldest son gave her away, and Ken’s daughter was her maid of honor. Ken’s brother was his best man, and Mary’s uncle, a Deacon, assisted in the Mass!
The couple remarks that they felt God's providence throughout the whole journey. "God knew what was in our hearts," Ken says. Their advice to singles on CatholicMatch, especially those in an older stage of life, is simple but profound: "God does not want us to be alone. Don't give up!"