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The first time I met Jim we flirted and had great chemistry. By the end of the night he asked for my phone number and we continued our playful conversations via text. He asked me to sushi and I was thrilled to go on my first date with him.
Halfway through the sashimi we delved into some intense topics. I explained that I was Catholic and I didn't want to raise my children any other way. Jim thought that this would be limiting the children and they should be introduced to other religions. I explained that I wasn't being closed minded. I have the fullness of the Truth, so why would I look anywhere else?
Jim was flabbergasted by my assurance in the Catholic faith. We agreed to disagree and realized that our differences were too great to develop a romantic relationship.
But then the next day I had a text from Jim: Good morning! I had a great time with you yesterday.
Didn't we just agree that we weren't going to date? I was confused by the mixed signals, but chose to ignore the warning signs. I thought of a witty response and hit send to continue our playful banter. It was fun and it felt good to be appreciated.
We continued to exclusively hang out, go to movies, and even had long conversations on the phone. There was nothing physical about our relationship, but from the outside one would have thought that Jim and I were dating. This went on for months.
Little did I realize that we were just using each other. We were having an emotional affair. We were both lonely and in between relationships. We knew we would never work, but in the meantime we just kept hanging on to the other person because it was convenient. This wasn't developing a true friendship and it certainly wasn't helping either of us find a spouse.
I decided to break off communication gradually. It was painful, but I knew it was the right thing to do. This emotional attachment wasn't fair to me—or Jim.
When I listened to Mary Beth Bonacci's recent interview on the Son Rise Morning Show, it reminded me of my time "hanging out" with Jim. In her interview, Mary Beth talks about the difference between men and women having friendships and utilitarian relationships. She points out how it is hurtful to keep someone around just because your lonely. And if you are in a relationship like this, it's time to break it off.
Click on the player above and then I would love to hear your thoughts on these types of relationships. Leave me a comment below.
