5 Ways to Cope with a Long Distance Relationship

My parents were in a long distance relationship. Thirty years ago, that statement meant a very different thing than it does in our day and age. Living 276 miles apart while my mother worked on a graduate school thesis and my father finished school, they spent hours writing letters to each other and slid quarters into a slot to hear a voice. Today, we spend seconds writing text messages and slide our thumbs across screens to speak with emojis and acronyms. ILY TTYL. Not so romantic, is it?

That is not to say that technological communication is a bad or shallow thing. In fact, communicating through the Internet and with cell phones is a wonderful gift for those interested in someone who lives far away. Thanks to Skype, texting, and online dating sites, we can get to know a person in a personal way despite the distance. Long distance relationships are now more feasible than when my parents tackled the challenge (and congratulations to them for 25 years of marriage).

When I was in a long distance relationship, Mom and Dad had a few tips for me on how to handle the time apart from my boyfriend. They always stressed the importance of quality time—in my mom’s words, “Less texting, more talking.” While it is true that technology is a wonderful tool for getting to know someone, it can be easy to let the smiley faces and screen shots get in the way of really having a conversation. Here are a few ways to stay grounded and keep your relationship in a place where you are making the most of the communication.

1. Don't make the phone taboo. iMessage is great for the little things, but when you really want to sit down and talk, set aside time for it. Choose a certain time every day or week when you are both available to really focus and listen to each other. Pick up the phone or log in to Skype instead of having a four-hour long texting conversation that could have been much more fun if you were listening to each other’s voices. Phone calls may seem archaic in our day and age, but the value of hearing your significant other laugh instead of reading LOL is unmatched.

2. Don’t be afraid to text first. While Skyping or talking on the phone can be more meaningful, texting is inarguably convenient. This tip is mostly for the ladies. In our modern culture, “making the first move” has been boiled down to “texting first.” We often expect the guy to be the one to start all the conversations, and it is important for him to make an effort, but remember that a text message is simply that—a text message. It’s okay to send him a cute “Hi, how are you today? I miss you!” Men fall for that stuff, too, ladies.

3. Share a blog. Tumblr or Blogger are great options for creating a space to share photos, memories, or ideas for fun things to do the next time you see each other. You can set it to private if you want, so only the two of you can edit and post things. Writing a “letter” on a blog (start it with “Dear”) can be a sweet way to surprise your significant other, and it shows that you are willing to put in a little extra effort. A blog is also a platform that you can customize and make your own, one filled with thoughts to be revisited when you miss him or her.

4. Watch your favorite show together. If you are both hooked on "Breaking Bad" but never have time to watch it when you are visiting each other in person, try to Skype during a show. You can type to each other while you have the TV on and share the comments you would be making if he or she was right there next to you on the couch. Although not as good as sharing that bag of chips in real life, Webcams have gotten us much closer to being in the same room even when we are not.

5. Try out this app. Couple is an app marketed as “an intimate place for two.” Available on the App Store and Google Play, this is a cute option to have on your phone. You can save important dates like anniversaries and birthdays, use “Live Sketch” to draw together, and even try out a feature called “Thumbkiss,” which allows you to “touch” through a screen. I was skeptical, too, but you would be surprised at what becomes meaningful after a couple of months apart.

Despite all of these technological advances and opportunities available in 2014, that doesn’t mean that a long distance relationship is any easier. There are going to be plenty of times in which you will be frustrated and sad that you cannot be with your significant other. However, seeing their face over Skype or perusing the blog post they wrote about your last date can be healthy ways to make it easier. Using technology to increase quality communication and make the distance a little less painful is easier than you may have thought. All it takes is a little creativity. Whether you are minutes or hours apart, it is the little things you share that will make your moments together special.