3 Things That Will Make Chastity Less Difficult

Seeking to live a chaste life?

Whether you have never practiced chastity before or want to return to chastity after an absence for whatever reason, there are concrete ways to begin that journey.

One thing the Catholic faith—the reality of the Passion of Jesus Christ—promises us is redemption. Through His dying for us He opened the gates of eternal life with Him, no matter the sin we have committed in the past. Repentance doesn’t have an expiration date, He will always be there to accept you with open arms.

It doesn’t matter if it’s been 10 days or 10 years, He is there waiting to meet you. And the Church carries this out in the sacraments of Reconciliation and the Holy Eucharist especially, offering us daily access to the grace of holy forgiveness and closeness with Christ.

This truth affects our lives in many different ways, from deep wounds within our hearts having the opportunity to be finally healed, to treating every day as if it’s a new day against holding grudges or championing pride. 

It also affects our relationships with others! One way being the practice of chastity, which although is a private decision, is also publicly practiced. As a Catholic, you are called to make the decision to practice chastity within your own life, regardless of your relationship status, your relationship history, or your history with chastity in general. If this sounds intimidating, don't worry, I'm sharing some concrete ways to begin.

1. Educate yourself on the Catholic view of chastity, not our current culture’s view.

The definition of chastity changes pretty drastically when you compare how the Catholic Church has always seen it to how our current culture portrays it. The former definition perhaps takes more time to understand in terms of context, but the latter holds a false narrative for empowerment and freedom, ultimately leaving great wanting. I would begin here, with the writings of Pope John Paul II. I have also always appreciated the writings of Abigail Favale, some of which you can find here and here.

2. Empower yourself through the reception of the sacraments.

The graces that the sacraments offer to us are real. They are not mere signals of change, they have the power to change you. They are not arbitrary, but deeply meaningful. And they are not mere symbols, but actual practices leading to sanctification. Go to the sacrament of reconciliation on a monthly basis, if not every other week. Seek out daily time to be with God in prayer, because He wants so badly to be your lifeline. Receive Him in the Eucharist as often as you can, even seeking out daily Mass if it fits around your work schedule (or any other mandatory, immovable timelines).

3. Surround yourself with iron.

I mean this both spiritually and practically, that is to say, with the saints and with friends in real life. There are so many saints that overcame temptation, or bad habits, or doubt, or the fear of standing out from the crowd. Pick one, and become friends. Clear your social media feed of people who cause you to fall into comparison or envy, and follow other people who are shooting for sainthood in the same way that you are. Search out people within your parish or a local young adult group to surround yourself with to remind yourself that you are not alone in going against the grain of the current sexual culture practices. Iron sharpens iron, and you deserve that.

Going against the grain.

Of course, the road to forming your practice of chastity will not be straight, I am not here to promise that it will be easy in any way! But neither is being Catholic in today’s culture, and you are already doing that. It is not easy to live in reliance on Christ in a world that insists we ought to make who we are alone, and you are already doing that too.

And, it is definitely not easy to be actively practicing a faith that lends itself to form, specific practices, and seemingly a lot of “rules” when everyone around you has chosen to throw all form and structure aside in favor of complete freedom and absence of daily discipline.

But, here you are, also doing that.

I would argue that some of the most important practices we can dedicate ourselves to are often the hardest to uphold, but also some of the most deeply rewarding. Chastity being one of them. 

It is a good battle to fight, the battle of chastity in our current culture. And you are never alone in doing it.