We count calories. We purchase expensive gym memberships. We obsess over our wardrobe, experiment with the latest fad diet and watch “The Biggest Loser” in awe. Our culture revolves around the physical – what color we are, what clothes we wear and how many pounds we carry on our frame.
It’s an intimidating situation for single Catholics since, whether we like to admit it or not, physical appearance and attraction are key to a first impression. In a world that deems size 0 models and muscular men as ideal, the pressure is on to impress.
When we reach a lull in the dating scene, it’s easy to wonder if our physical appearance is falling short of the opposite sex’s standards. What if I worked out more, ate better and dropped a few pounds? Would more men date me if I lost weight?
Lindsey-297821 recently posed this question in the Tobias & Sara Room forum after a male friend suggested she lose weight to improve her dating life.
"He actually came out and told me that if I lost weight that more guys would be after me," she wrote. "It kind of shocked me that he said that, but he had a good reason behind what he said. He said that the extra weight is a real turn-off because it makes it seem like I don't care about myself and don't try to take care of myself."
And then came Lindsey's pointed question: “Is there really something wrong with people who are a few extra pounds or heavy set that they don't deserve a chance to find someone that loves them for who they are?”
The responses from both men and women are piling in, signifying that weight and appearance are issues that many single Catholics grapple with in the dating scene.
Many women replied that a happy and healthy spirit is more than important than a trim figure. Here's a sampling of their comments:
“If you are confident, happy, and healthy where you are, then that is what matters.” -Cathy-234108“I wouldn't want any man ever that was only into my body or looks. The problem with wanting that perfect image is that nobody can measure up. I am not tucking, lifting or injecting anything to be appealing. Take it or leave it.” -Linda-756196
"I think it depends more on how you feel about yourself. I have more confidence when I'm thinner and that has a huge impact on whether others find me attractive." -Cathy-234108
“Let us all strive to be the best person the Lord wants us to be without being distracted by secular nonsense. Be yourself, be happy always!” -Jacqueline-198
Many men agreed that physical appearance pales in importance to a balanced lifestyle. A few of their comments:
"Well, I will admit a real thin woman may be attractive, but I am afraid to hurt or break them by looking at them…I know my type is alive, breathing, and active, just a matter of finding 'The One.’ ” -Jason-581074"What your guy friend told you is accurate. It's good to have friends who can be brutally honest at times. I'm sure that he was trying to help and meant well. Critique is a good thing amongst friends." -Joseph-248539
“Yes, feeling healthy and looking healthy are positive and attractive traits to the opposite sex. It goes both ways. Emotional, spiritual and physical health in balance.” -Steve-157537
“It is not at all uncommon for attraction to develop after two people get to know each other personally. But this can't happen if you don't give it a chance.” -Jerry-74383
CatholicMatchers, weigh in: Do body type and fitness level influence your feelings toward a potential mate?
