When It's Hard to Feel Thankful This Season

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Do things just seem different this year?

I will never forget the year, growing up, when my parents announced that we would be spending Thanksgiving in a small cabin in the mountains. My traditionalist sister could not fathom a change in our holiday ritual—from the big gathering of extended family all crowded around our meticulously decorated dining room. She stormed up to her room, only to emerge ten minutes later by throwing Thanksgiving decorations down the stairs. Her expectations for the holiday had been ruined, and she was intending to take everyone down with her. 

My parents, who must have suspected this type of fallout would transpire, continued on with the mountain getaway plan anyway. I honestly don’t remember why they wanted to have Thanksgiving off the grid that year, but there must have been some reason beyond the realm of my juvenile understanding. 

And you know what? It ended up being one of the most memorable of holidays. 

The simplicity of spending time together as our small family unit—without the loud bustle of cousins and aunts and uncles, eating way too much food from all the side dishes brought by others, or having piles of china to wash—was a much-needed change of pace

Facing the start of the holidays is daunting for many. 

If you are approaching this holiday season with a less-than-grateful outlook on life, you are not alone. There is so much going wrong in our world today that it’s very hard to take a positive perspective on things.

This year being the second-in-a-row pandemic holiday season, it may feel especially numb. We’ve all become a bit more isolated over the past two years. The point of the holidays is to draw close to your loved ones, but practically it may still be difficult to do so. Travel restrictions, spikes in cases, loss of loved ones, last-minute symptoms all threaten to keep us more isolated and apart.   

And let’s not even mention your love life. Though some lucky ones have moved forward on the vocational path, many are stuck in a dating sort of limbo due to restrictions and cautions. It could be very easy to just let this holiday season pass you by without any extra attention or effort.  

But why not consider another way? 

For my husband’s side of the family, Thanksgiving is the most celebrated holiday of the year. Why? They are farmers. For them, they truly have so much to be thankful for at the end of the fall: good crops, a fruitful harvest, favorable weather (though really, a farmer is never happy with the weather!), reliable machinery, thriving animals, and a final end to the harvesting season… to name a few. 

At their quaint farmhouse, we all gather around a table that is way too small for our growing family amongst plates of traditional Thanksgiving fare. While everyone is contentedly eating, I always force the conversation into the topic of gratitude. “What are you thankful for this year?” My in-laws always, always say they are thankful for the harvest. And I’ve finally realized why: it doesn’t just depend on them. They are thankful for the circumstances—out of their control—that allowed for whatever kind of harvest they could have that year.

Even when they lost a few fields to frost, or their combine broke down for the fourth time, or it rained for three weeks straight, or that calf just didn’t survive that illness—in the end, the harvest happened, and they are thankful. 

And that is what gratitude is all about. 

Yes, life is hard right now. And uncertain. Things are happening out of our control, and some days we just wake up wondering what else is going to go wrong. And maybe you’re single and wondering why nothing you’re doing is helping you meet that special someone. 

No matter the circumstances, our lives are harvesting fruits, and we are called to give thanks. 

It may not be the type of harvest we would expect...the “fruit” may look different. Instead of that new job you wanted, you’re still doing the same thing—but look at the relationships you’ve built with your coworkers! Or rather than taking that much-anticipated trip around Europe, you stayed home this summer instead—but look at how your prayer life grew! Sure that guy never called you after the first date—but wasn’t it fun to just go out again? 

The fruits are still there, the harvest has still happened, God is still in control. “In all circumstances give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thess 5:18)

So this holiday season, don’t throw your decorations down the stairs. 

To take a lesson from my sister…. It’s okay if things look differently this year. It may not be the fine china and huge dinner with your handsome new beau at your side. It may look more subdued, like a tiny mountain cabin surrounded in snow. But I promise you, there will be fruits to harvest. 

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