When Is The Right Time To Talk About Natural Family Planning?

The results of a recent CatholicMatch survey reveals many subscribers are interested in knowing more about Natural Family Planning (NFP).

How do I learn how to practice NFP?

When is the right time in the relationship to talk about NFP?

Should engaged couples be studying NFP, or should they wait until after they marry?

These were some of the excellent questions received. I am not a doctor or licensed instructor for Natural Family Planning, but I have been using it for 23 years and I would like to offer my answers to these questions from a lay person's point of view.

First, I have found NFP to be an invaluable approach to understanding myself better, growing closer to my husband, and teaching my age-appropriate children about the beauty of God's creation, the human body in addition to knowing how to achieve or avoid pregnancy. There have been times when I found it challenging to stick to and I can only chalk that up to my ever-present imperfections as a human person. However, it has created an intimacy between my husband and I that I doubt could have been achieved through other means because it caused the two of us to communicate with each other and support each other on a very deep and personal level.

So, how do you learn how to practice NFP? The best way to learn is to attend a class offered by a certified NFP instructor whose information usually can be found in your parish bulletin or via your diocesan website. Also. many Catholic OBGYN's and RN's teach NFP classes in their offices and sometimes at hospitals.

For comprehensive information on providers, visit the Natural Family Planning page on the US Conference of Catholic Bishops' website (USCCB.Org). There you will find some excellent resources such as the National Directory of NFP Providers and the directory of Diocesan NFP classes where you can search in your state and find a class near you. You will also find a host of other resources, including a statement on why the Catholic Church supports the practice of Natural Family Planning.

When is the right time to discuss NFP in a dating relationship? Some people are comfortable having this discussion with anyone because it doesn't only have to do with one's personal fertility. With the HHS Mandate at large and Catholic consciences being challenged on many levels, I think any time is a good time to have the discussion and find out what each other's beliefs and opinions are regarding it. For those who may be uncomfortable with the discussion, my suggestion is to definitely begin the discussion when your relationship starts heading in the direction of marriage. Important discussions such as this one are necessary to have even before you become formally engaged so the two of you will be on the same page.

Should engaged couples be studying NFP, or should they wait until after they marry? So, after you have the discussion and agree that this will be what you will practice together as a married couple, I encourage women to take a class and learn how to practice it. Why? Well, primarily because you will learn so much about yourself, the beauty of human biology, and also because there is a lot to learn. There are various and different methods of NFP and one might work for you and the other may not. It also may take a while to get used to charting or taking your temperature each morning.

Here are some notable statistics regarding the practice of NFP among married couples from one of the reports available on the USCCB.Org website that might be helpful to you:

• Research findings on marital, sexual and spiritual dynamics of NFP seem to indicate that NFP is helpful to marital life. Marshall and Rowe (1970) reported that 74% of husbands and 75% of the wives found the use of the Basal Body Temperature Method (BBT) of NFP to be helpful to marriage.... Fehring and Rodriguez (2013) reported that 80% of the husbands and 85% of the wives felt that using NFP was helpful to their marriage. Research also indicates that most users of NFP are satisfied with their use of NFP, most find periodic abstinence is not a problem and that NFP enhances their sexual drive (Vandevusse, Fehring, and Hansen 2003).

• Based on the 2006-2010 (Cycle 7) NSFG it was discovered that the percentage of Catholic women of reproductive age who indicated ever using NFP, their marital status of “divorce” was almost 50% less compared with Catholic women of reproductive age who never used NFP methods.

I highly recommend checking out the Current Medical Research link on USCCB's NFP page where you can read all the current research reports and medical statistics.