Have you ever looked at a married couple, whether you knew them or not, and thought, "That's the kind of relationship I want to have!"? I'm not talking about the couple who is all over each other with inappropriate displays of affection... anyone can do that. I'm talking about the couples who treat each other with care through their words and actions and are obviously happy in each other's company. It's great to see couples like this who are truly in love.
15 years ago, I was excitedly showing my engagement ring to two of my co-workers. Even though I was in my late 30s at the time, the joy of my impending nuptials made me feel like a kid. One of my co-workers commented, "Isn't new love wonderful?" The other co-worker replied, "Oh, no! After 20 years of marriage, I wouldn't trade what we have now for anything!" I've never forgotten that because she seemed to place a goal in front of me, one that was definitely worth shooting for and one I can say my husband and I have achieved, but still work toward on a daily basis so we can have an even better level of our relationship every day.
In a previous article, I shared with you the encouragement Pope Francis gave older Catholics to impart their wisdom and experiences with younger Catholics, especially those who are engaged or newly married. The Pope's point – that older men and women have a wealth of knowledge and wisdom the younger generation can benefit from – is such an integral message in our society, and I want to thank everyone who contributed their advice in the comments section. Now, I'd like to share with you some sage advice from some of my Facebook friends. Several months back, I polled them, asking them to offer their advice for having a happy marriage. These friends are not all Catholics, but still offer great advice. I hope you'll enjoy it, laugh a little, learn a little, and look forward to building your future with the one you love.
What do you love most about being married?
Elaine: That I am loved for me, who I am, be it serious or be it silly. Having a bad hair day you name it and my husband loves me. He loves me unconditionally and God loves me unconditionally. I love that we are a threesome with God. God, my husband and me.
Heidi: I love the unspoken connection that allows you not only to finish each other's sentences, but sometimes makes finishing those sentences unnecessary (especially when the kids are involved, and watching the exchange!). I also love that there is one person in this world who halves every burden and doubles every joy, just by sharing it.
Jimmy: The unconditional love my wife has for me. I searched my entire life to find true love and was often disappointed and never thought I'd find anyone who would love me for me.
Katie: He makes me coffee every morning as a sign of agape (God's unconditional love). He is okay with me not actually saying "I'm sorry " and accepts my round about apologies. That we are a team, but that doesn't mean 50/50-sometimes its 90/10 or 30/70 and that is okay.
Pattie: Marry your best friend. Be tolerant of each other. Support, cherish, take care of each other. Everyone makes mistakes, forgive forget move on. We will be 48 years in June.
Kateri: Simply put: go Team Jesus!!
Cherie: The knowledge that whatever happens in life, we will face it together. Reaching out and holding hands when times are tough and being instantly comforted. Knowing that when I have reached the end of my rope physically and emotionally, he will be there to pick up the slack. As I will be there for him.
Michael: Taco night!... Honestly, I dig not eating dinner alone. Shallow? Maybe, but it's the first thing that came to mind – hopefully there's a bigger meaning to just "Taco Night"
Anne: That all the important issues we discussed and agreed upon prior to marriage helped a great deal on how we worked together during our marriage. Our boundaries with in-laws, how we raised our kids in faith, love, and consistent discipline, our contributions of each other to each other in our responsibilities as parents and work within and outside of the home. A true help in our marriage.
Want to share your insights but don't want to comment below? Feel free to send me an email at [email protected].
