What is My Vocation After Divorce?

After my divorce was final and my annulment came through I really began to struggle with the concept of vocation. For all of my adult life, to the point of the break-up of my marriage, I identified with the vocation of marriage. Suddenly, I found myself a single person with children. I spent many long moments in prayer asking God what my vocation was supposed to be now.

There seems to be an ongoing discussion in the Church, at least among some of the people that I know, as to whether or not being single is a true vocation. It seems to be a 50/50 split. Marriage and religious life are always identified as a vocation but us single folk seem to be in this no-man’s land. And this doesn’t seem to be relegated to those of us who suddenly find ourselves single after a divorce or annulment. Many of my single friends that have never been married are asking the same question—is singleness a vocation and how do I discern what God wants me to do with my life?

This question was presented at a recent priest panel that I attended. The answer, from the wonderful Father Jeff, was like a gift from Heaven. “This question is way too broad,” he told the crowd, “so let’s scale it back a bit, shall we?”

Father Jeff continued, saying that he gets this question often and he finds that most people are almost paralyzed with concern over it. He said this is especially true of Catholic young adults that are first trying to make their way in the world.

Father suggested that we all take a step back and consider—what is it that I am doing right now in my life and is this what God wants from me? Father explained that if we honestly assess our talents, spend some time in prayer, and begin to live our daily life in closer union with God through prayer, we will begin to walk the path that God has for us. When that happens, the question of vocation will answer itself.

I found this advice to be truly humbling and it reminded me of the big picture. It’s not just about me praying to “figure out” what it is that God has in mind for me; it is also about doing. I know good, honest Catholics that get stuck in this place, unable to move forward because they just don’t know the plan God has for them. Rather than remaining stuck, we should take Father Jeff’s advice, assess the gifts and talents that God has given us and move forward one step at a time. As opportunities present themselves, ask God to be open to his path:

Always wanted to travel? Find a pilgrimage—CatholicMatch has many!—and head out to some great historical destinations with a group of people who share your same faith and values. Build relationships.

Unhappy in your job?  Take the time now to identify your talents and learn how to use them to make the world a better place. As the new slogan goes—be the change you want to see in the world.

Staying cooped up inside short-circuits God’s plan by keeping us isolated. It encourages an atmosphere of worry. By looking at the small ways that we can take steps to continue to move forward, we will begin walking the path of the vocation that God has in mind. The worst that can happen is that God will allow us to make some wrong decisions and then use them to bring good from our lives.

At times, like with my divorce, that can be a very difficult experience. But those times also allow us to embrace God more fully and like the true Father that he is, he takes us by the hand and leads us in the direction that we should go. For some people that includes marriage, for others a call to religious life and truly, some people are called to live in the world and remain single. It isn’t fair to insist that this happens by default, instead we should be open to the benevolent plan of God.

In what ways do you discern the plans that God has for you?