What if We Fail During Lent?

I have a confession. I ate a steak sandwich. On Ash Wednesday.

I could blame it on the pandemic. Locked down at home for so long, one day bleeds into another and you lose track of time. Is it Monday? Or Tuesday? Oh, it’s the start of Lent. I forgot.

I grew up Baptist so we never put a lot of emphasis on traditional seasons in the Christian calendar. Us cultural Baptists were big on Christmas and Easter. Sometimes they were the only days throughout the year that we attended church. Only after I converted to Catholicism did I start to pay much attention to observing Christian traditions like Lent.

Why is Lent so important anyway?

Why do we need to give up chocolate if Jesus has already forgiven our sins?

Surely he wouldn’t stop loving me because I ate a Snickers bar. His love is stronger than my weakness for candy.

This is true. And yet…

After becoming Catholic, I started to learn about and recognize the beauty and value of Lent. 

The practice of giving up a good thing is not some arbitrary self-flagellation to atone for my sins. Rather, it’s to deny my flesh so I can focus on the spirit. 

It is an act of love, a willing sacrifice to my Savior in gratitude to his sacrifice for me on the Cross. It is a joining-in with his suffering, a walking with him through the desert of temptation.

The three traditional pillars of Lent are prayer, almsgiving, and fasting.

First, prayer…

Focus on your prayer life in a way that goes beyond your normal daily prayers. This could mean setting aside an extra five minutes a day to intercede for others. Or it could mean reading Scripture and practicing lectio divina, where we meditate on a particular Bible verse and let it soak into us, filling and transforming our heart and mind. It can mean going to Mass more than once a week to participate in the Church’s communal, universal prayers.

Then, there is almsgiving…

In addition to prayer, the Lenten season implores us to “give alms.” Almsgiving, or giving to the poor, was in practice well before Christianity, but the Church calls on us to continue this charitable tradition. This doesn’t mean you have to give away money, though you can certainly do that. But it can be any act of love toward those in need.

You could write a letter each week during Lent to someone who is lonely. Volunteer for an hour at a local homeless shelter. Mow a neighbor’s lawn or shovel snow from their driveway. Something you wouldn’t necessarily do in your normal daily routine. Make a conscious effort, take an extra step to love others through your actions.

The Church tells us to give alms, it doesn’t tell us exactly how we have to do it. God allows us to be creative in how we serve others and show love.

There’s no limit to what this can look like. 

And then there is fasting, or giving up something good you enjoy. This is the aspect of Lent most of us think about. It could be taking a break from social media for the 40 days of Lent. Or giving up pasta. Or your favorite TV show. Again, the possibilities are limitless. We are free to show our love through fasting however we choose or feel led. 

God never asks us to do anything arbitrarily. It’s always for our good and His glory. 

Lent is a season to celebrate, not to dread. It might be painful, but that’s for our good. 

So what happens when we fail on day one of Lent, like I did? 

We don’t punish ourselves. God is not pleased with that. We acknowledge our failure, forgive ourselves, ask God for forgiveness, and start over. Because starting over is part of the Gospel—the good news—too. As Nelson Mandela said, “The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”

No normal person falls down and just lays there on the ground. They get back up and keep moving. 

That’s what God asks us to do, whether we make some major life mistake or forget that it’s Ash Wednesday and we weren’t supposed to eat meat.

In the Gospel of Luke, Jesus healed a man of dropsy on the Sabbath. The Pharisees and scholars of the law apparently disapproved because you weren’t supposed to do this on the Sabbath day. 

Then he said to them, “Who among you, if your son or ox falls into a cistern, would not immediately pull him out on the sabbath day?” (Luke 14:5).

Jesus seemed to be saying that doing good is right, even if it violates rigid laws. 

I think it’s the same with us and failing during Lent.

We might have dropped our child into a cistern (or eaten a steak sandwich) but do we just leave it at that? No. We pick up, redirect ourselves, and keep going.

God is not pleased with us staying stuck in our failures. Every moment is a chance to start anew. 

So that’s what we must do, knowing that God loves us no matter how much we mess up.

Saint Paul says, “there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the spirit of life in Christ Jesus has freed you from the law of sin and death” (Romans 8:1-2).

Lent is not about condemning yourself for your slip-ups.

It’s about focusing on God through prayer, almsgiving, and fasting. 

And when you mess up, you start over. You get back up. You go and sin no more (John 8:11). 

I ate a steak sandwich on Ash Wednesday. But then I moved on. The same day, I joined an online discussion group in which we read a spiritual poem for each day of Lent. It’s my way of practicing more prayer during Lent this year. From here on out, I will try my best to fast from meat on Fridays, and I will find creative ways to deny myself and serve others. 

As Psalm 51:19 says: “My sacrifice, O God, is a contrite spirit; a contrite, humbled heart, O God, you will not scorn.”