What All Women Are Really Doing in Bed

For whatever reason, my wife and I continue to receive a free trial subscription to Glamour magazine. As a professional Catholic speaker and retreat leader who speaks on love and relationships, I cannot help but stay informed as to the modern “wisdom” this magazine is offering. 

My first article in this Glamour series vented on the pathetic advice that women receive in magazines like this one. I lamented the fact that most of the information given does not lead to true love or intimacy but, only to pain and disappointment.

Thus, I would like to continue to expose the untruths and skewed sex advice offered by magazines like this. Understanding how to weed through the lies and misinformation will help you to avoid heartbreak and ensure that you are treated in a manner worthy of a child of God.

In one of the latest issues, there was a survey article titled, “What Everyone You Know Is Really Doing In Bed,” in which a thousand women gave their feedback to questions. 

The article came across with a high school mentality of “everybody’s doing it.” It seemed to advocate that no rules, morals, or boundaries in the sexual sphere is normal and acceptable. With that being said, the article stated: “In some ways, our survey shows, women are still conservative sexually. About half had five or fewer partners.” 

Upon reading that, I wondered how five partners could be considered conservative. Perhaps considering the rampant promiscuity of the other women in the survey, 3, 4, or 5 doesn’t seem so bad.

In one question, for example, the survey asked women how many sexual partners they’ve had. A quarter of all the women had between 6-10 partners. As disturbing as that is, more than 10% had 11-15 partners and another 10% had 21 or more partners.

To put it in perspective, 100 women in this study had up to 15 partners and another 100 had 20 or more partners! What’s intriguing is that two questions later, more than half the women admitted that it would “bother them” if their partners' numbers were that high.

Notice that the article didn’t offer zero as an option. Apparently, they do not understand the beauty or purpose of sexuality. They don’t grasp that our hearts were made to be given to one person in marriage and not multiple partners. And, we wonder why the divorce rate is skyrocketing, and why lasting love and intimacy are hard to find.

In fact, those who wait until marriage to engage in sexual relations and to live together have the best marriages and most fulfilling sex lives.

In another question, the article asked women if they would rather have:

A). A short man with a big penis

B). A tall man with a small penis

Sadly, one cannot help but note the high school mentality here.

Here are a few mature options that should have been offered:

C). “Grow up, we are not in middle school anymore.”

D). “Who cares, I’d rather know the size of his heart and whether he is capable of loving me.”

E). “Women don’t like being objectified, so why are we stooping to that level?”

The options Glamour offered are immature at best, based solely off lust and pleasure. Love and lust are always and forever opposites. Lust cannot create a stable relationship or a solid foundation for love and marriage.

One wonders; would a woman want a man asking the same question about her breast size, reducing her to an object of pleasure, or would she rather be seen and loved for who she is as a person?

The answer seems clear. How many women complain that “men are pigs,” or "only after one thing," and yet Glamour, Cosmopolitan, and other like magazines are training women to think and act the very same way. It's truly sad. 

We must rise above any attitude or “advice” which is beneath our dignity as children of God or against the nature of true love.

We shouldn’t even entertain it for it’s not worthy of us. As Jason Evert asks, “Are you a soulmate or a cheap date?" Forgetting what’s in the past, what type of person would you like to be?

How you answer this question will speak to your character and desires. It will also dictate how you will treat others and how you will allow them to treat you!

Never settle for less, for you—and the relationship you desire—are worth so much more!