The Art of Catholic Flirting (For Ladies' Eyes Only)

Many blogposts debate whether it's okay for people to flirt. For single Catholic gals, flirting is a way to show you are interested in a guy. Even Jane Austen's heroines did it. There is nothing remotely inappropriate about it. So here's some tips to flirt with style ...

1. Get out there. If there aren't any marriageable men in your circles, look elsewhere. Join organizations that interest you and that aren't targeted just at singles. Art, chess, music, running, photography, foreign language clubs, alumni associations, pro-life groups, even professional associations. Chances are high you'll find someone who shares a common interest.

2. Look at him. "This guy is so in to you, but you don't seem to care!" one of my friends whispered to me in college. Truth was, I was so into him that I froze every time he walked in the room and couldn't even look at him. Eye contact can be surprisingly intimate. Try it and maybe you'll both enjoy it.

3. Compliment him. If you like someone, you're probably hyper-aware of him already. Let him know you notice him. Compliment his watch, his hair, his tie.

4. Don't dress sexy. You heard me. Dressing in sexy clothes declares your availability to every man in the room, which is not necessarily an attractive quality. Wear well-fitting, flattering clothes that make you look approachable. Soft textures, pretty colors, loose hair, minimal makeup. Overly aggressive fashion can make you seem either high-maintenance or just plain scary.

5. Don't troll the bar scene. I'm not saying it is impossible to meet someone in a bar, but in my experience the only man I ever met in a bar was tall, Asian, elegant, and perfect. He was also married, which I didn't find out until the third date because he had removed his wedding ring.

6. Don't flirt with more than one man at a time. Remember Scarlett O'Hara surrounded by dozens of admiring beaus? Now, forget it. Her story ended badly. If you want him to have eyes only for you, then have eyes only for him.

7. Ask him to declare his intentions. Don't let him get away with the question, "Would you like to hang out?" Tell him it depends on whether he wants to date you or just be friends. If he's not man enough to say he wants to date you, what makes you think he'll be man enough to propose marriage a year or two down the line? If he stutters or waffles, tell him to call you back when he makes up his mind. (Even the New York Times agrees.)

8. Be interesting. Follow world news, Hollywood, or the theater scene. Read literature occasionally and know who won the Super Bowl or the World Series. Good conversation is an art form. Develop it.

9. Stand up straight. Look like you own the room. Pretend you're strutting the catwalk, presenting an awesome proposal at work, or performing in a ballet recital—it doesn't matter which—but act like all eyes are on you and they will be.