Stop Judging Online Dating Profiles

We are well into the Lenten season, and we've all had time to integrate our fasts into our daily lives. One thing I often wonder is if those who are looking for a relationship and marriage should give up certain negative tendencies during Lent. Perhaps we could fast from some of the harmful behaviors that go along with online dating, and instead feast on Christ's words and deeds.

For instance, even when we aren't in relationships, we may still be caught up in what I call "The Relationship X-Ray Machine." If anything, it might be more prevalent in online dating. The Relationship X-Ray Machine is the name I've given to the way we scrutinize every word—typewritten, texted or spoken—and analyze it every which way for its true meaning. The Machine is active when we talk about potential dates with our friends, comparing one profile to another. We get caught up in trying to interpret every gesture, every comment, every joke. It's enough to make anyone throw their hands up and abandon online dating altogether.

But here's where our Lenten fasting/feasting could bring us closer to the teachings of Christ. If we look at it objectively, that Relationship X-Ray Machine negates our trust in Him. It puts us further away from Him, devalues His will for us and puts our own judgment above all else. And that's very dangerous, particularly if we seek out other Catholics for dating and marriage.

I recently came across a beautiful reminder of what we might fast from and feast on. It came from the Benedictine Sisters of St. Paul's Monastery and it fit in perfectly with what I'd been thinking about with the Relationship X-Ray Machine.

This Sisters suggest fasting from: idle gossip, judging others, blaming others, anxiety, pessimism, bitterness, self-centeredness and negativity; all by-products of the Relationship X-Ray Machine.

Instead, they look at what we could feast on: restful silence, patience, gratitude, respect, compassion, prayerful hope, the sacredness of life, and honoring the Christ within all others. All by-products of our faith.

All of the things we could fast from are hard to avoid, particularly in the world of dating, and even more particular with online dating. It's easy to judge a profile, and even easier to become self-centered, when we sit at our computers and browse our prospects. But we could fast from these behaviors without having to give up on our search all together.

Even though Lent is in full swing, these ideas are worthy of consideration. Wouldn't it be a wonderful way to continue the Lenten season by following these suggestions? It's never too late to take up a new fast, keeping in mind that it accompanies a new feast as well.