On Handling Heartache

Stephanie Wood Weinert

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Single Living

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August 23rd, 2016

21

Heartache

 

It's raw agony in the depths of your soul. It's a fire that no physical pain can compare to. It spreads from your core and fills your mind, your body, your spirit. You would do anything to get rid of this deep anguish. And yet, you have the added mental torture of knowing that there is no medication and no cure for the problems of the heart.

A few of my very best friends have been handed the lion's share of suffering. One family friend is coping with the loss of a young child who died in an accident. Two other friends who were in relationships thought they were dating their future spouse, and the road to the altar had appeared relatively smooth until an unexpected and heart-wrenching breakup had occurred, in both situations.

As I've watched these friends undergo immense suffering these past few weeks, it has caused me to reflect more deeply on matters of the heart. Honestly, I've given myself an impossible task. I want to talk about the pain of a broken heart, and what can be done about it. I want to offer comfort where there really is none...to speak words when they are few...to explain that which does not and perhaps cannot make sense.

While there truly are few words that can be said to offer comfort and relief from such pain, it's important for us to be reminded that we aren't the only ones who experience such distress.

Throughout the Bible, we read stories of men and women who underwent extreme spiritual and emotional suffering. While their stories and example cannot take away our heartache, the common experiences of these men and women can encourage us to persevere in hope through our own pain.

 

The ultimate test of love

 

Abraham and Isaac/from Katholische Pfarrkirche Mariä Himmelfahrt-Friedberg

One of my favorite stories in the Bible is in Genesis 22, where God commands Abraham to sacrifice Isaac, his only son...the son of his old age...the son promised by God in a covenant oath to make Abraham's descendants a holy nation...the son destined to give Abraham a heritage as vast as the stars in the sky and the sand in the sea.

God demands that Abraham offer the greatest act of love—to sacrifice as a burnt offering upon an altar the "son whom he loved" (Gen. 22:2). Consider the emotions that must have coursed through Abraham's heart. Can you envision his confusion, his fear, his desperation? If we think we experience heartache after someone we love breaks up with us, just imagine how this father felt as he climbed Mount Moria and prepared an altar for his son.

Those of you familiar with the story of what happened on Mount Moria know that, at the moment Abraham raised a knife to kill his son, God called out from the heavens and stayed Abraham's hand. Abraham loved God so much that he was willing to trust and obey even when the direction of his life and God's plan seemed not only confusing, but outright nonsensical.

The result of Abraham's sacrifice was the fulfillment of all God's covenant promises to build His holy nation from Abraham's descendants, and through Abraham we have the prototype of God the Father's sacrifice for us.

 

She knew what it meant to weep

 

Mary at the foot of the cross

The Bible doesn't give us a lot of detail besides the fact she was there, but imagine for moment how Mary felt watching the love of her life endure His passion? Mel Gibson's portrayal of the Blessed Mother as she held her lifeless Son in her arms at the foot of the cross is particularly poignant. Here is a woman who knew heartache deeply, personally, intimately.

Meditate on how Mary probably felt that first night after Christ had been laid in the tomb. I'd imagine that few human beings have wept from the very depth of their souls as she did that night.

In John 19:26-27, Jesus gave this woman who so deeply knows the meaning of heartache to us, to be our mother. Contemplate the Seven Sorrows of Mary, and ask your mother to pray for you. All the motherly love and heartache she bore for her Son, she now bears for you.

 

He wept over his best friend

 

Jesus at the death of Lazarus/from Eliseu Visconti

Do you know what the shortest verse in the whole Bible is?

It's John 11:35: "Jesus wept."

It's the story in the Gospel when Jesus' friend Lazarus (Mary and Martha's brother) dies. We learn in John 11:33 that Jesus was "deeply moved in spirit and troubled" when he learned of Lazarus' death, and verse 36 says that the Jews murmured "see how he loved Lazarus!"

This is one of those unique moments in the Bible where we witness a raw and vulnerable side of Jesus. Our Savior is truly in emotional distress and heartache over the loss of his beloved friend. While knowing that Jesus suffered profound heartache does not alleviate our own, perhaps it is a comfort to meditate on John 11:35, "Jesus wept," and know that even the Creator of the Universe did not spare himself from the pain of a lost loved one, and thus knows—firsthand—our own.

Beauty from ashes

Abraham, Mary, and Jesus Christ are but three among many biblical figures that stand before us as models for dealing with heartache. Granted, we still suffer. We still ache inside and wonder how we'll get through another day. We still question why life doesn't make sense. We still long for the one we've loved and lost.

Our hope amidst the pain of heartache is that God can use every ounce of pain that we give Him to intensify our love for Him, to increase grace in our souls, and to help both ourselves and others get to Heaven.

Be encouraged that God always brings good out of suffering offered to Him, even if it doesn't make sense right now. Learn from Abraham: God brought a chosen nation into existence through his faithfulness. Learn from Mary: God gave us a Savior through her obedience of faith. Learn from Jesus, who gave us a prototype and hope for our own resurrection and eternal life through his friend, Lazarus.

Do not be afraid to weep with Abraham, with Mary, with Jesus. It will not take away your pain, but sometimes it just helps to know....

You are not alone.