No Bad Selfies & Other Online Dating Don'ts
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Imagine waking up to find a Facebook friend request from a guy you don't know.
As a woman, the immediate reaction is "he's a creeper!" In our digital age, Facebook is a bit like our living room. We have conversations with our friends, post family photos, and share our interests. Having someone we've never met or corresponded with try to enter that space is akin to having them show up on our doorstep.
On more than one occasion, I have received Facebook friend requests from CatholicMatch members. When I began receiving them, I wasn't writing for the blog, so they had no way of knowing my last name; they had to have spent time searching through all the girls on Facebook named Ella.
Although these suitors may have had good intentions, these experiences prompted me to think about other things that singles do to scare off potential matches. (This isn't just a list for the guys either.)
1. Don't add someone on Facebook without the person having told you her last name. It can be startling to receive a friend request from a guy you have never corresponded with. You want to put your best foot forward. Instead, get a CatholicMatch subscription. It allows you and the person of your dreams to get to know each other in a safe and comfortable situation.
2. Don't list your faults like you're proud of them. Give someone a chance to find out your quirks for themselves. You don't want to present yourself as unloveable; you are lovable!
3. Don't use a bad selfie as your main picture! If you are serious about finding your future spouse, then you want to present yourself in the best light possible. Instead, have a friend take a photo of you. Make sure the photo isn't blurry, dark, and your face isn't blasted out by the flash. Also, stay away from too much head tilting—look into the camera confidently. For the gals, wear a color that is flattering and guys, always wear a shirt!
4. Don't have other girls/guys (who aren't your sisters or brothers) in your main picture. This isn't Sister Wives and I don't want to be part of your entourage. Your main picture should be a head and shoulders shot of just you. It is good to post group shots in your albums, but be sure to identify yourself in the description. Do show your love for your family in your photos. A boy who loves and respects his mama and sisters is a man who will treat his wife well.
5. Don't write up a long and very detailed list of who you want your future spouse to be. It is important not to close yourself off to the person God has in mind for you—she might not have long legs and blonde hair, or he might not have blue eyes and be 6'2 tall, but he or she may be exactly what you need.
6. Don't list Twilight as your favorite book. The subtext for guys is that you relate to Edward—controlling and creepy. For gals, it gives off a clingy and stuck in high school vibe. Do share your interests in your profile. A shared favorite book or television show is a great conversation starter.
7. Explain yourself. If you list on your profile that you don't agree with one of the tenets of the Catholic Faith, some single Catholics are going to discount you immediately. Please explain your position in your profile and be open to discussion.
8. Do make a move. If you're playing emotigram tennis with some lovely lady, the guy should make the first step towards more meaningful communication. Don't worry, we want to talk to you!
9. Don't send a half-hearted first message, such as “I thought your profile was kinda interesting.” It makes me think “I kinda don't wanna respond to you.”
10. Do take the temperament test. To end on a more positive note, DO take the personality test. I enjoy knowing someone's temperament and it gives a quick insight into who you are.
What would you add to this list? Leave me a comment below.
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