Let's Talk About Chastity for Older Singles: Is It Worth The Wait?

I had my doubts that meeting someone on an internet dating site would ever lead to marriage. That is until a cute blonde named Patrice “pinged” me in late June of 2016. Still, I hesitated to respond. She lived almost two hours away, and long-distance dating did not appeal to me. 

But, her profile read like an introduction to a spy novel. 

Intrigued, I responded.

I soon discovered that this petite blond was one of the most fascinating women I had ever met. Born at the Pope’s Hospital in Rome, Italy, she was raised by nuns at the Vatican for the first seven years of her life before eventually being adopted by an Irish-American couple.

She soon learned English and today speaks it with an adorable Irish accent. She has two master’s degrees from Notre Dame (Belmont Campus), can read four languages, has three passports (Ireland, Italy, and the USA), and is a professionally trained singer. 

After meeting on CatholicMatch, Patrice and I dated for a year. Friendship blossomed into love, and we found ourselves facing the same challenges as any romantically involved couple. The closer we grew, the more decisions we had to make. Is this destined to be just a good friendship or something stronger? Can seniors really fall in love? How long do you date before proposing? And while we are waiting, where do you draw the lines for physical attraction and affection?

In today’s culture, chastity is a mockable virtue.  

Why wait? No one else does, or at least, doesn’t seem to. The prevailing cultural narrative demands sexual freedom while ignoring the consequences of a promiscuous lifestyle. Patrice and I heard temptation pounding on the door. We didn’t have to open the door to know what was lurking on the other side. But, we were committed!

So, in July 2017, I proposed, she accepted, and we opted for a sooner-rather-than-later wedding. Just two months later, we joined hands and walked down the aisle of our parish chapel where our parish priest presided over an intimate ceremony. The wedding vows complete, my new bride and I scampered out of church for a honeymoon in Charleston, South Carolina. 

Still pinching ourselves, we both found it hard to believe we were now husband and wife. 

Off we went to one of the most charming cities in America—a more extended honeymoon to Ireland would have to wait until the following year.

Driving southbound on I-26, we decided to make a pit stop to refuel and refresh ourselves. The Chick-fil-A at the Orangeburg, S.C. exit was a welcome respite from our interstate travel. 

Patrice, still wearing her white wedding dress, stepped into the restroom, while I ordered a diet coke for her and my usual half-sweet-half-unsweet version of iced tea. 

Southern sweet tea is just too sweet for my taste, and I have long proclaimed that if I was any sweeter, Patrice couldn’t stand me. So I opted for a half-cut version of this traditional southern elixir. Returning to our car, I sipped on my modified drink of choice and waited, patiently for my bride, and waited, and waited, and waited.

If there is one thing I had learned while dating Patrice is that my new bride has a compassionate heart. 

Even strangers find her very approachable and are quite comfortable sharing their deepest concerns and heaviest burdens in life. This gift of listening served her well as a paralegal, as clients found it easy to open up to her.  

Her wedding day found this gift exercised in a different situation……in the restroom at the Orangeburg Chick-fil-A.

There, between the sink and the hand-dryer, she came face to face with another woman in a white dress. Rashina, a young woman, was as startled as Patrice at the encounter.

Patrice spoke first, “Did you just get married too?” Rashina smiled and responded proudly that she had just returned from a ceremony where she received her Ph.D. They both laughed at the chance meeting of two ladies wearing white dresses, and a quick conversation ensued.

Finally, Rashina, who was single, asked the burning question on her heart. 

“Patrice, was it worth the wait?” Patrice, recalling a year of celibate dating, grinned broadly and said, “Oh yes!” Giving her a quick hug, Patrice offered to pray for her. Then Rashina laughed and said, “Honey, we have to pray now.” Grabbing her hand, they said the Lord’s Prayer, which somehow seemed entirely appropriate at a Chick-fil-A.

All the while, I am sitting in our car, slurping the last remains of my half-sweet, half-unsweet tea, wondering if I should send in the calvary. The car door opens, and my bride of four hours beams that smile that melts my heart and proceeds to tell me what just happened. Smiling, I shook my head, realizing that life with this woman would be an adventure. Yep, I love this woman.

There is nothing half-sweet about her. 

I could not help but laugh at how God’s grace showed up when two white dresses met in a restroom at a Chick-fil-A in Orangeburg, South Carolina. 

Finally turning to Patrice, I said, “Buckle up good-looking, next stop Charleston!”