Kill the pity party, Pigg
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It is happening again. I sit in a group of people, chatting politely, mechanically eating chips, and think
I’m lonely.
Why won’t anyone make an effort and include me?
Why is everyone at church so connected, and I’m just sitting here eating my donut alone?
These thoughts recur throughout my life. Usually they are brought on by moving to a new place, but they also rear their little heads when I have been in the same place for a while. Suddenly, I find myself searching for that feeling of connectedness that I long for.
There are a few ways I react to those thoughts.
One way, which I have tried many times, is to look at myself and say: “I am the problem.” I am not good enough, not socially adept enough, not pretty enough, not fun enough.
The pity party
I then throw multiple pity parties for myself. These usually involve facebook binging on other people’s lives to show myself how truly inadequate I am, eating a lot of unorthodox things wrapped in tortillas, or desperately netflixing for hours to help me forget the loneliness.
Another way I react to the “why am I so lonely thoughts” is to blame everyone around me.
People are selfish. They are just in their cliquey little church groups, groups at the office, kickboxing groups, and they don’t include me, or they pretend to accept me, but they won’t make time for me.
Lashing out (at least in my mind) at other people, and blaming them for making me feel alone gets me nowhere. Stewing in frustration just propels me back to my pity parties.
Thankfully, I have been blessed for the past couple of years to feel less alone than I ever have before. However, I know that these feelings come in and out of my life pretty regularly.
An antidote
During times when I am less lonely, I want to remain thankful for the people in my life. In the other times, the times when I am tempted to throw a pity party, I have to remember to remain active. I have to seek others out, again and again, even when I am frustrated and think no one will reciprocate.
One of the reasons I am so excited about working with CatholicMatch and the CatholicMatch Institute is because of its mission to connect people. We want to connect you to your future spouse, but we also want to build community and support for you whether you are single, dating, engaged, or newly married.
Our community can combat loneliness, especially if we remember that the source of our unity is Christ.
He promised us: "I will not leave you desolate. I will come to you." (John 14:18)
If you are feeling desolate, no matter where you are in life, then come! Be encouraged and challenged by each other in our posts, the comment boxes, and our community.
Okay, you now know my struggles with loneliness, and my excitement about working with CatholicMatch, but who am I?
My name is Cecilia Pigg, and I am the new managing editor of the CatholicMatch Institute. I hail from the Midwest. I am empathetic, usually hungry, and enjoy reading British literature. I am not allergic to anything, and I am passionate about listening to Jesus and finding community.
I am excited to share your journey with you, and to continue the great work started by Robyn!
Find Your Forever.
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