James, 57, and Menodora, 39, had both been CatholicMatch members for several years. Both of them knew the heartache of longing for a spouse and children.
During those six to eight years on the site, James, who lived in Columbus, Ohio, had kept his searches to the United States. James said, "It wasn't until I went on a retreat [three months before meeting Menodora] and was struck by Sr. Joyce Rupp's phrase: 'Find the one thing that stirs your heart and make room for it.' I realized I had to search the whole world and exhaust all possibilities to find my partner."
Menodora’s profile caught his eye when he noticed that she too was holding out hope that she would one day soon have a family. “Our story is so amazing. Hopefully, I will be able to share it with our children someday,” James said.
The two started corresponding in September of 2013. “We danced around a bit in getting to know more about each other.
Turned out she is Indonesian, but working and living in Kuwait as a nurse. It just so happened that I work for an airline and we fly to Kuwait.”
The two were Skyping and texting every day and in November 2013, James flew to Kuwait to meet Menodora. “I was excited, but cautious as well. While visiting, I had shared with her the hope that like many characters from the Bible, I could still be a father late in life—like Abraham and Isaac. I didn't want to give up hope. I told her one of my favorite stories was the Book of Ruth and I ended up reading it to her.” The Book of Ruth would eventually have great significance in their relationship.
When he left and returned home to Ohio, he had high hopes, but told Menodora that he needed time to let things marinate and to seek guidance from family, friends, and his spiritual director.
One of the things that concerned James was that he's 18 years older than Menodora.
Even though James felt he was falling in love with Menodora, his hesitation made him look uncertain to Menodora. “I tried to assure her I was really excited and hopeful, but I had been married [annulled] a long time ago and I didn't want to make the mistake of marrying for the dream.”
It didn't take James long to discern that she was the right woman for him. For Christmas, as a sign of his love and commitment, he mailed Menodora his right sandal like Boaz had received in the Book of Ruth. “She wrapped it in plastic and put it on her desk. I nailed the left shoe onto my dresser
right next to Jesus on the cross.”
On January 31, 2014, James returned to Kuwait to propose to Menodora in the Holy Family Church where they began their first date. He gave her an engagement ring and explained that Jesus was the foundation of their relationship. He told her that the engagement ring's big diamond in the middle represented God, and the two smaller diamonds on each side represent them.
The couple decided that their wedding would be in April 2014 because that was when Menodora had vacation time—otherwise, they would have to wait another year.
"My priest thought we could never complete all the church requirements by then, but we decided to try. Her brother in Jakarta was a huge help and the priest there who eventually married us, Fr. Bambang Triatmoko, was equally as helpful," James explains.
James and Menodora were married three days after Easter 2014 in Jakarta. “Three days after Jesus was resurrected our lives were resurrected. Years before my spiritual director asked me to meditate on two Bible verses. One was, ‘Fear is useless, what is needed is trust’, and ‘God will not be outdone in generosity.’ How true both were.”
James continues, "We both had wondered if God had heard our prayers? Had He forgotten about us? 'No', I told her, 'He didn't forget.' It was in His time' ('Kairos' meaning 'God's time'). We both found out that indeed God was not to be outdone in generosity. He gave us each other as time was running out to try to have children. We are so blessed."
The couple hopes to be living in the United States together in the next two to three months. Menodora is still working and living in Kuwait and James is in D.C. They have been waiting for Menodora's spousal Visa since their marriage. "Thank the Lord I work for an airline!" James says.
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