St. Gianna Beretta Molla Became the Patroness of Their Relationship

James, of the Chicago area, had tried meeting people in person but began looking for someone who shared the Catholic faith. He joined CatholicMatch in September 2017, and just a month later, he connected with Gianna.

Gianna, originally of Scarsdale, New York, had also tried meeting people traditionally, looking for someone serious about the faith. To expand her search, she joined CatholicMatch in the Spring of 2015. Two and a half years later, she met James.

A Seek Conference talk inspired her pursuit.

In January 2015, a few months before joining the site, Gianna, now living in the Chicago area to attend Northwestern University, went to the annual Seek Conference hosted by the Catholic outreach organization FOCUS in Nashville, Tennessee.

One of the speakers, Jason Evert, mentioned in his talk that to find a holy spouse, you have to run after God with all your heart, then after spending some time running, look to the left and right and see who can keep up with you, and that’s who should be your spouse. Little did she know that she would end up marrying a marathon runner.

He sent a simple message, and they began chatting.

In October, after finding Gianna’s CatholicMatch profile and observing that they shared similar interests and that she seemed like a sweet young lady, James, now also living in the Chicago area, decided to reach out. For her part, Gianna had noticed his profile appear in the “New Members” gallery on the homepage before receiving his message, which she remembers to this day: “Hi Gianna, I noticed that we have similar values. Would you like to get to know each other better?” From there, they began texting, calling, and using FaceTime and made enough of an impression on each other to plan on meeting in person by the end of the month.

Their delayed first date was well worth the wait.

Unfortunately, one of James’s cousins had passed around the date they planned to meet, so they had to postpone. Gianna offered her condolences and let him know she was there if he needed someone to talk to, even though they hadn’t even met in person at that point. “That left a good impression on me,” James recalled. While she was sad they couldn’t meet as initially planned, Gianna trusted that if he were the right person, they would reschedule, and they did.

The following month, in November, they agreed to meet at an Irish pub called the Celtic Knot in Evanston. Earlier that day, Gianna attended daily Mass to pray for a good night.

 That evening, when they first saw each other, James said, ‘Hi,” and she looked up at him in disbelief. “He is  6’1”, but I looked at him, and I’m 5 feet tall,” she explained. Out of nervousness, she responded, “Wow, you are a lot taller than I imagined. But I’m really happy to meet you at last,” then hugged him. James responded by laughing.

After starting the date around 6 PM, they became so invested in their conversations that they stayed in the restaurant for a few hours, not leaving until about 11 PM! When the evening finally ended, James walked her home, and she apologized for her height comment earlier. “We’ll make it work,” he replied.

They prayerfully navigated the relationship.

After hitting it off on their first date, they met again two weeks later. Gianna invited James to join her for adoration at Northwestern’s Sheil Catholic Center. After adoring the Lord, she introduced him to her friends in the Catholic student community and the campus minister. At the end of this date, the couple officially defined their relationship. Gianna asked, “Are we exclusive?” He simply replied, “Yes.”

For the pair’s third date, they enjoyed a deep-dish pizza from Lou Malnati’s and watched Disney’s animated version of Lady and the Tramp together. They then returned to the Sheil Catholic Center for the 9 PM Sunday Mass, where Gianna served as the sacristan. At the end of this date, they said they loved each other and had their first kiss. They were able to see each other more often starting in December when Gianna graduated from Northwestern and moved to Chicago for her first job. 

Over the next few years, the couple decided to consecrate their relationship specially and make time for God while they were together. For instance, they went to St. John Cantius Church in Chicago every Wednesday evening for adoration. They would sometimes also attend confession and the Quo Vadis young adult group that met there. They had also picked up evening prayer together over FaceTime and developed a strong devotion to St. Gianna Beretta Molla, who became the patroness of their relationship. “We just constantly offered up our relationship and our courtship to God throughout,” Gianna recalled.

 In 2019, Gianna invited James to attend a weekend retreat that she was passionate about and involved in called Awakening. She wanted to share the profound experience and encounter that she had with Christ through the retreat with him. That weekend was a fruitful and inspiring one, and James became friends with many of Gianna’s Awakening friends. Most notably, on the second night of the retreat, the pair prayed together in silence before the tabernacle of the parish, and James lit a candle in the chapel with Gianna watching. “This candle is for us,” James told her, which brought tears to Gianna’s eyes. 

A bridge crossing proposal full of book and movie references.

After seeing each other for a couple of years, James was ready to propose in the Summer of 2021. Gianna knew the proposal was coming; it was just a matter of where and when. But first, James would have to ask her father for her hand in marriage. He did this while the couple was visiting Gianna’s family in July. He broke into tears and gave James his blessing along with a nice hug. He then talked to Gianna’s brother-in-law, who had been married to her sister for two years, about marriage and engagement planning.

The following month, on August 22, James had told Gianna to dress up nicely before they went to a Sunday evening Mass. After Mass, they drove to the Fullersburg Woods Forest Preserve in Oak Brook, Illinois. He told her they were there to have some couple’s photos taken by her friend Christian, who is a photographer. As they walked and had pictures taken, James took her across a bridge and gave a little speech which included him saying, “My heart is and will always be yours,” a quote from a film adaptation of the Jane Austin novel Sense and Sensibility, one of Gianna’s favorite books that she got James to like as well. 

He concluded the speech by saying, “In a way, we’ve been through many trials and challenges together and crossed many bridges together, and as we stand on this bridge, I want to express my love to you and my desire to cross many bridges with you throughout life.” He then knelt down and asked Gianna to marry him. Instead of saying, “Yes,” she responded, “As you wish,” a reference to The Princess Bride, one of the couple’s favorite films. James then put the ring on her finger, Christian took some pictures, and they shared the big news with their families.

The “Mawage” took place on a nice Summer day.

After the proposal, the couple reached out to Fr. John Kartje, their spiritual director, who had also been the chaplain of the Sheil Center during Gianna’s freshman year at Northwestern, to ask him to preside over the wedding Mass. On New Year’s Day, 2022, the couple officially announced the news of their engagement.

The pair originally wanted to get married on September 24, 2022, as that was the date their patroness, St. Gianna Beretta Molla, married her husband, Pietro Molla. But after a few logistical issues prevented this date from working out, they decided on June 24, 2022, the solemnity of the Sacred Heart of Jesus for that year. This date was fitting since Gianna has had a strong devotion to the Sacred Heart since her childhood, a devotion her mother also has. 

When the wedding day finally arrived, the couple had a first look at each other before the Mass, where James broke into tears. They said a rosary together next to a statue of Mary and read notes to each other. In his note, James quoted what Pietro Molla said to St. Gianna on their wedding day, "A new life is beginning for me: the life of your great (and greatly desired) affection and of your radiant goodness. We are starting the journey of our love. I love you, my dearest Gianna." As part of her note, Gianna said, “All the years I spent running after God to see who would keep up with me couldn’t have been more perfect. As I look at you now, truly, it is no accident that God chose a runner to run after Him with me.”

The Mass took place at St. Paul of the Cross Church in Park Ridge, Illinois.  Fr. John opened his homily by saying, “Mawage,” a reference to how the priest in The Princess Bride film pronounced “Marriage” to begin his homily. Fr. John’s homily focused on the connection between the film and Catholic marriage, as well as between the Sacred Heart and Catholic marriage. He emphasized that Gianna and James didn’t choose the feast of the Sacred Heart as their wedding day; rather the Sacred Heart chose them for marriage. The Mass also featured the Filipino tradition of the Mantilla and cord ritual which Gianna’s parents had also done at their wedding. This ritual features a mantilla veil being laid over the couple and a cord being tied around them, symbolizing the couple being bound together in marriage. 

The reception was held at the Morton Arboretum in Lisle, Illinois, which the couple chose because of the beautiful scenery and to pay homage to the Garden of Eden and the theology of gardens. In perhaps an act of divine providence, it did not rain that day.

Despite struggles, they’re enjoying married life.

In the two years since their wedding, James and Gianna have settled in Park Ridge, Illinois, and still feel like newlyweds. There have been challenges, such as one of them experiencing a job loss during their first year of marriage before finding new work in March. There have also been plenty of good times, like attending their friends’ weddings, celebrating their own first wedding anniversary in Galena, Illinois, holiday visits with each other's families, Gianna cheering James on at his marathons, and spontaneous date nights. Through it all, they’ve leaned on each other and God. The couple prays together daily, attends Mass regularly, and continues to ask for St. Gianna and Pietro Molla’s intercessions for their marriage.

Advice for CatholicMatch Users:

James’s advice for CatholicMatch users is to persevere in your search because you’re there for a reason, to find someone who shares the same faith. He also urges users to engage in conversation and don’t be afraid to come out of your shell and learn about someone who piques your interest. 

Gianna’s advice for CatholicMatch users is to work on your relationship with God first, then work on yourself and allow yourself to grow into the best version of yourself that God wants you to be. Then you’ll have the confidence to talk to someone who strikes you as interesting. She also emphasizes that if it doesn’t work out with someone, it’s crucial to have the courage to say, “I value you as a friend.”