He Didn’t Know What To Say In His First Message, But Reached Out Anyway

When James first saw Victoria’s profile on CatholicMatch, he initially swiped past her profile card because he was unsure of what message to send to her.

However, on second thought, he returned to her profile and sent her a message asking her thoughts on the Daily Gospel Reading.

Three days later, Victoria paid for a premium membership in order to respond to his message.

The rest, as they say, is history. After a couple of weeks of video chatting and texting, they arranged to meet for Mass in Victoria’s hometown of Pittsburgh.

James and Victoria both described their first date—which featured some harsh art criticism and ending in a meal at the hospital—as being “not the best.”

After attending Mass together, they went to a local art museum for a stroll. Victoria told James her favorite piece of art was in the museum and he told her that for fun, he would guess which piece was her favorite. As they entered the museum, Victoria recounted that James walked up to the first art piece he saw and said, “I hope your favorite piece is not this one, because it is ugly.”

Sure enough, it was her favorite piece!

They finished their date with lunch at a pizzeria located in the local hospital.

According to James and Victoria, the conversation and chemistry between them were so good that their disparate taste in artwork and the hospital pizza did not hinder their desire to meet up for a second date.

Their faith and common desire to prioritize having a relationship with God drew them together as they continued to date and grow closer.

After several months of dating, James had the idea that he and Victoria should attend a retreat together before deciding whether or not to get engaged. Victoria, who had previously considered religious life with the Franciscan Sisters of Penance of the Sorrowful Mother, suggested attending a retreat through their local order.

“It was a very confirming time for us,” Victoria said.

After the retreat at the Franciscan Sisters and meeting each other’s families during the spring and summer, they decided to get engaged. On the way home from meeting Victoria’s family, James casually proposed the question, “Would you like to look at engagement rings?” The answer from Victoria was a resounding yes.

After discussing engagement, James began planning an official proposal. During the first weekend of October, James and Victoria traveled to visit James’ brother. After a long day of apple picking with James’ young nieces and nephews, the couple went for a meal at a small diner and then returned to the church for confession and Eucharistic Adoration. According to James and Victoria, there was a wedding going on in the next room. In the chapel of the church, James got down on one knee and asked her to marry him with his grandmother’s ring.

Afterward, they returned to the family to share the news and went out for a nice dinner to celebrate. 

A month later, she moved to Cleveland to be closer to him. 

James said that through their dating journey, they have learned to be vulnerable with each other. “There has always been a feeling of openness, and it's okay to be who we are,” he said. “Knowing Victoria has given me a concrete way to live for another person, but also to die to myself. You begin to see ways in which you can give yourself to another. I feel like I am learning to toss it all to the Lord.”

Victoria shared that one of their strengths as a couple has been their ability to grow in faith together. “We are pretty good at communication and prayer,” she said.

As they prepare for their upcoming nuptials, Victoria said that they are most looking forward to not having to say goodbye to each other at night anymore. “There is a comfort knowing that soon, we won’t need to say goodnight anymore.”

Their advice for everyone still on CatholicMatch...

One piece of advice that James shared for other singles looking for love on Catholic Match is to not be afraid to send a message, even if it means you may not receive a reply. He took a chance when he messaged Victoria, and that decision has made all the difference.