Can Divorced and Remarried Catholics Receive Communion?

A CatholicMatch poll asked in February: “Should the Church allow divorced Catholics who are re-married WITHOUT an annulment to receive communion?” Most respondents (52.2%) answered “yes”—even though, concerning Catholic marriages, the Church (and 47.8% of respondents) answers “No.”

Meanwhile, the Vatican Cardinal Walter Kasper recently asked Pope Francis if the Church might find some way divorced and remarried Catholics can receive communion without going through the formal annulment process.

Is there change in the wind? There has been much discussion in the press and in Church circles regarding this issue. I asked several canon law experts that question, and none of them thought it likely that any fundamental change is coming.

A document preparing for this October’s Vatican Synod on marriage emphasizes that those who divorce and remarry “enter a state of life which does not allow them to receive Holy Communion.” It also stresses that “The particular Churches are called upon to assist families, and with them, persons in irregular situations.”  

The Basics

The pendulum in the Church has swung through history between extremes of great reluctance to receive communion, and a too-casual approach to communion.

Likewise, the pendulum has swung from outright rejection of the divorced to a rejection by many Catholics of the teaching about marriage and communion.

To understand the reasons behind current practice, though, it is important to look to the fundamental beliefs the Church has always had about both.

The foundation of Church teaching on marriage is rooted in Sacred Scripture:

Jesus spoke of divorce and remarriage in Matthew 5:32: “I say to you, whoever divorces his wife (unless the marriage is unlawful) causes her to commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”

Unfortunately, modern society has ignored this teaching of Christ and divorce is a common thread among families we all know, which is why St. Paul’s teaching on being properly disposed to receive the Eucharist is so hard to understand for so many:

“Whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord unworthily will have to answer for the body and blood of the Lord (1 Corinthians 11:27).”

The Church believes what Jesus does about the marriage bond—and the Church believes, with St. Paul, that we must never receive communion unworthily. So the question at hand is, how can we bridge this ever-widening gap?

The Heart of the Matter

Catholic blogger, Matthew Tyson, still remembers the moment he understood viscerally the power of the marriage bond: “At the age of 21, I sat on the couch with my sister, and heard words [from my parents] that should have never been spoken, ‘We’re getting a divorce.’”

When he blogged about the experience Tyson wrote: “That broke something inside of me, something that can’t be repaired, something that keeps that moment fresh on my mind and makes me relive it every. single. day.” Let us not forget that while divorce may be a common and accepted theme in society, there are still family members, friends, neighbors and co-workers who are deeply affected by the divorce of someone they know.

I also spoke to Andi, who learned about the marriage bond in quite a different way.

“I remember when Doug and I went through some very hard times, when we had been married around 10 years,” said Andi, who asked that her real name not be used. “Suddenly I understood the phrase ‘lifelong marriage’—and it was a little scary. I could see at the time how people think getting divorced seemed like a good option because it would seem to take pain away.”

For Doug and Andi, divorce was not an option, so they stuck it out.

And a new, deeper love emerged.

“Marriage is still hard at times, disappointments still come,” Andi said, “but for the most part there is a companionship and understanding that not only withstood hard times, but came of suffering through them together.”

Like Tyson, they discovered that the Catholic Church really means what it says about marriage—marriage is a permanent vow; your words and intentions are supposed to create a real bond that God ratifies, and with that ratification, He will provide the graces necessary to sustain your relationship.

“The consent by which the spouses mutually give,” says the Catechism of the Catholic Church (No. 1639), “is sealed by God himself.” It adds that no one—not the spouses, not the state, and not even the Church—has the power to break the bond of marriage. This is why it is critical for couples to understand what they are actually committing to before they take their vows. There should be nothing circumventing their personal freedom to marry and they should take their vows with the proper intentions of creating a life-long, permanent and exclusive relationship that is open to new life.

If Catholics sometimes forget how real marriage is, we also tend to forget how real communion is.

The Eucharist is the real presence of the Second Person of the Trinity—the body, blood, soul and divinity of Jesus Christ. As the U.S. Bishops point out in their 2006 document, “Happy Are Those Who Are Called to His Supper: On Preparing to Receive Christ Worthily in the Eucharist,” the Eucharist is meant for all Catholics to receive, but it is our personal responsibility to make sure we are properly disposed.

What does properly disposed mean?

— That you have gone to confession at least once in the past year, or after a serious sin (the bishops’ examples of serious sins: Missing Mass on any Sunday or Holy Day of Obligation, participating in abortion, viewing pornography, any extra-marital sex, etc.).

— That you have fasted, “refraining from food and drink (except for water and medicines) for at least one hour prior to receiving Holy Communion.”

— That you are wearing “modest and tasteful dress”—“clothes that reflect our reverence for God and that manifest our respect for the dignity of the liturgy and for one another.”

— That you are in a recollected and prayerful state of mind.

Why are these factors important?

Father Robert Cannon, a military chaplain who holds a degree in canon law, said, “The paradox the Church faces is while frequent communion is heavenly food on life’s journey to God, it is also true that we should approach Christ with the utmost reverence, even awe.”

He added that the prohibition of some to receive the Eucharist was quite normal for most Catholics in the history of the Church. He said that “At one time, few people received the Eucharist. They considered themselves ‘unworthy.’” It is relatively only recently that most Catholics receive communion at each Mass.

On his flight back from the Holy Land in May, Pope Francis was asked by a reporter about divorce and remarriage without an annulment. “Something Pope Benedict said three times about the divorced has helped me a lot,” he said. “The divorced are not excommunicated, and so many times they are treated as excommunicated.”

Even with all of that theology firmly in place, it can still feel harsh and unwarranted to withhold communion from couples who are divorced and remarried without an annulment.

Rose Sweet is a speaker and author who works with divorced Catholics.

“I give them the truth of Church teachings and, more importantly, the ‘whys,’” she says. “It was fine for my mother to tell me not to go out the front door when I was 2; but when I was 4 she began to tell me why. Big, fast cars were out there and they could not see me and they might kill me. That was pretty clear.  So, we need to do a better job of explaining the whys and not just ‘because the Church says so.’”

Sweet agreed that the Church’s teaching is ultimately compassionate—but that it isn’t often heard that way.

“When you harshly tell them ‘you’re living in adultery!’ they shut down," she said. “They wrongly believe that when their sin is pointed out, their inherent goodness is also being rejected.”

She called Holy Communion “a visible and public sign where we say with our actions, ‘We believe and accept what God says and the Church teaches.’ So if outside Mass we are living in a way that does not believe, and does not fully accept, then our action is a lie we speak with or bodies. We are not being honest.”

For many divorced Catholics, annulment is the right option. Annulment is not a Catholic loophole, it is the Church’s investigation into whether or not a valid marriage took place on the day of the wedding.

What is a person to do if they are divorced and remarried without an annulment?

Father Cannon carefully explained: “In special circumstances, if a couple is living as brother and sister—normally this applies only to older couples—and if there is no scandal, for instance when the couple has moved to another state and no one knows of their prior marital status, it may be possible for them to receive communion.

For most couples, St. John Paul II encouraged couples in irregular marital situations to be faithful to the practice of their faith and to make a spiritual communion when attending the celebration of the Eucharistic, until their marital situation is regularized. But, remember, in the danger of death, the sacraments of penance, Eucharist, and sacrament of the sick are offered to a person.”

Sweet said she knows couples who have successfully negotiated these options.

“Is living as brother and sister really possible?” she asked. “The answer is Yes! Living as brother and sister—not having marital relations—is also not unnatural. … Spouses who are separated by illness, distance, work, or even war can remain faithful to one another without having sex. It’s not always easy, but what virtue is always easy?”

What other options are there?

In its plans for the October synod, the Vatican says the Church must show its love for those who are divorced and remarried without an annulment:

“With great mercy, the Church is called to find forms of ‘accompaniment’ which can support her children on the path of reconciliation. With patience and understanding, she must explain to these people that their not being able to celebrate the sacraments does not mean that they are excluded from the Christian life and a relationship with God.”

No, fundamental change is not coming; but the Church does intend to reach out to those poll respondents with a better explanation, and a more pastoral response.