CatholicMatch wasn’t Hazel’s first online dating experience.
While she was using a different dating site, she chatted with a suitor who was using a fake name. Even worse, he turned out to be a con artist who used dating sites to gain access to women’s bank accounts, including hers. It’s fair to say that Hazel was not impressed with her first round of online dating!
Despite the deception and disappointment of that go-round, Hazel didn’t boycott the idea of online romance forever. She was surfing Facebook in December 2017 when a CatholicMatch advertisement popped up on her screen. She was tempted by the idea of connecting with someone through a devout Catholic website, and decided to give online dating one more try.
About six months after she had created her profile, Roy’s profile caught Hazel's eye. He was from Mumbai, while Hazel, 25, lived several hours away in Pune. Unafraid of rejection, Hazel sent him an emoticon. Roy, who turned 30 that day, quickly sent her an emoticon back. After starting to message back and forth, Roy noticed Hazel hadn't wished him a happy birthday.
Maybe she didn’t see the notification on his profile? He sent her a playfully indignant note: “Can’t you see it’s my birthday? Aren’t you going to wish me a good day?!”
His sassy joke hooked Hazel right from the start! The two quickly moved to communicating through Facebook regularly. Within a few months, they both knew they wanted to meet in person. But their careers made that difficult. Roy is a sailor and is often gone for long periods of time, and Hazel’s work as a teacher doesn’t allow her to travel often. On top of that, they lived hours apart from one another.
You'd think that would be obstacle enough. But there was another even bigger hurdle, a hurdle that could make or break their budding bond.
Meet the parents (and everyone else!)
Hazel and Roy both deeply value their Indian culture of family involvement in relationships. So, before Hazel and Roy would meet in person, they put their faith in their families’ opinions. In February of 2018, Roy’s family traveled from Mumbai to Pune for the specific purpose of meeting Hazel and deciding whether she could be a good match for their Roy. Hazel was under some pressure, because it was important that both of their families approve of the match prior to them entering a relationship.
After meeting both Hazel and her family, Roy’s relatives gave her the desired stamp of approval. Halfway there, thought Hazel!
The next step was for her and her family to travel to Mumbai. This, explains the couple, is part of the honored Indian tradition where the woman’s family visits the man’s family. This serves as a tangible sign of respecting a potential suitor not only as an individual, but as a part of an existing family unit. After this visit, the family members on both Hazel’s side and Roy’s side gave the couple the green light. Hazel and Roy were thrilled!
One hurdle down, several more to go.
The hours of distance still kept them apart for months even after the family visits. The couple says that being so far apart from one another was definitely the most difficult part of their relationship. Finally, their work schedules aligned.
Three months after meeting each other’s families, Hazel and Roy were able to go on their first date in May of 2018. After such a long time getting to know each other from a distance, they were eager to find out if this was worth all the wait.
Roy, having just returned from his seafaring work, wasted no time in “coming to see the girl who had been troubling him!” as they like to joke. They spent the whole day together, staying up until three in the morning.
“Then we had breakfast at 4 a.m!” Hazel reflects, and the couple started their next day together. It would bring with it one of their favorite memories. Roy is not only a sailor, but also a good singer and plays the guitar like an artist. He and his band were actually in the semifinals of a television music competition. Now, Roy put his talents to the test in serenading the love of his life. It worked! Hazel looks back at this date and says listening to him sing to her was one of her favorite moments of dating.
Their relationship blossomed fast and furious from there.
Between a long distance relationship, two busy careers, and scheduling family trips from Mumbai to Pune and back, Roy and Hazel had plenty of difficulties. But because of their dedication to each other through everything, they each knew they had found their soulmate. Hazel and Roy were engaged on July 13th that same year, just three months after their first official first date.
“Our engagement was a Big Fat Indian Engagement,” Hazel laughs, recalling the festivities. The couple wasted no time in planning the wedding, either. Since neither of them had been married before, their excitement was hard to contain. On the third of October 2018, the couple tied the knot in a matching “Big Fat Indian Catholic Wedding!” Clearly, their love for God, each other, and their families were the center of attention that day.
Hazel and Roy say that their first months of marriage have been wonderful, but definitely brought some differences of opinion. “But these peppy arguments still keep us connected,” Hazel says. They would advise other couples to trust God with their love lives, and to remember that God can use online dating to bring two people together. “Just be a little wiser,” Hazel said, remembering her first experience with the con artist, “And trust God and yourself!”
Continue Reading
