Will I Ever Be Happy After My Divorce?

I'm guilty, friends. Yes, I admit it, I'm guilty. I've done it so many times, I can't even count how many anymore. And you know what? I don't care, I'll do it again! I'm unrepentant! What am I talking about? I'm talking about watching every episode of every season of the television show LOST over again! It's true, I'm a LOST disciple, Dude. One of my favorite quotes from that show is spoken by the character John Locke: "A leader can't lead until he knows where he's going." So true.

I bring this up to you today because it fits quite well with what I'd like to discuss with you. I'm willing to bet you want 2015 to be a better year than 2014, right? This time next year, I'm sure you'd like to look back on 2015 feeling content, feeling like you really elevated the quality of your life. But, do you have a plan for this? If you want to get to the other side of "happy," you need to have a plan. You need to know where you're going and how you're going to get there. But, it's more than just getting to next year, a good plan should be a long term plan, wouldn't you agree?

So I'm going to be a little bold and ask you to look far into the future. I'm talking, 10-12 years down the road into the future. I can hear you saying, "Really? I'm just trying to get through this week, don't tell me to look 10 years into the future!" Okay, but... how are you going to get through this week and make it worthwhile if you don't have some idea of how you'll do that? Without that, all you're doing is just "getting by." So, humor me on this one and give it a try. Close your eyes and imagine yourself 10 years down the road. What do you see? Are you happy? The reason why I want you to imagine this is simple: if you want to leave the pain of your divorce behind, you have to have an idea of what your life looks like when you're happy. What does the happy you look like?

Maybe you're having a difficult time because you can't imagine being happy again? Maybe your divorce has convinced you that this is your new normal and you can't imagine what it would be like to be truly happy again? I've been there, my friend. The first few years after my divorce I was convinced that the only option I had for the future was to settle for less. To get by. To just make it to the next week, the next month, the next year. I was convinced that the best life could offer me now would be akin to a nice book and a warm bath. But now I'm standing here, 21 years down the road, and boy, was I wrong!

We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.  - Romans 8:28

When you read these words, how do they resonate within you? Do you think, "This is not for me?" Do you think they're just words with no meaning or significance? These are Gods words to you and He wants you to believe them. God didn't put you on this earth to be unhappy, He wants you to be happy. He wants you to trust Him with your future because he can bring good things out of the most deplorable situations, the most reprehensible circumstances. It might seem impossible to bring good things out of your mess. But one thing is for sure, God is going to blow you away with what he can do. Your best imagining of what is to come is nothing compared to what God can do with your life.

Have faith in him, but not lazy faith. Not a faith that says "Okay, God," and then just sits back and mopes. You've got to get yourself in gear and work with Him. Your life will change in amazing ways if you refuse to give in to discouragement and decide instead to move forward, even if it's in little steps. One day 10 years from now you will turn around and look at yourself today and praise God for the incredible work He's done in your life. You will be happy and so glad you trusted Him and worked with Him.

I encourage you to take some time this week to define what the "happy" you looks like so you know where you're going in life. Imagine what your life looks like when you are happy and content. I'm talking everything from your hair color to whether or not you are married again. Then, write those things down so you have a plan and start acting on it! Because God wants you to be a leader, but a leader can't lead until he knows where he's going!

If you'd like to hear the podcast version of this article, you can find it at LisaDuffy.com where you'll find the Weekly Inspirations Podcasts for 1-12-15. And as always, send your comments and questions to asklisa@catholicmatch.com.