Why You Should Look For Friends From Many Generations

I recently hit my 27th birthday. While 27 may seem like an arbitrary number to most, for me it signaled a semi-crisis. For the first time in my life, I truly felt old. Just a mere 3 years away from 30, realizing that I’ve held a driver’s license for over a decade, have been out of college longer than I was in it, and am able to reflect back on a plethora of diverse (and I mean diverse) life experiences; my young-adult life seems to be slipping through my fingers!

Having been put at ease by looking up the definition of a young adult (ages 20-39 if you were wondering), I was able to reflect on these past 27 years with a more grateful attitude, and the main theme that resonated above anything else can be summed up in one word: relationships.

No, not those kinds of relationships...

Not to negate relationships with family, friends, and a significant other (all are so important they deserve their own blog post), but I’m talking about relationships that we might deem as extra; great if you have the time, but not a necessity. Relationships with both those who are further along on their walk of life and those who can learn from our experiences, relationships receiving from and serving as a mentor.

As human persons, we are constantly imitating others (consciously or not). I mean, my newest bracelet was Joanna Gaines inspired, and half of my motivation to go to sculpt class is to look like my super-in-shape instructor! What I’ve come to realize is that since this imitation is happening anyway, doesn’t it make sense to be intentional about it? Who am I learning from? Who am I teaching?

Scrolling through my most recent set of birthday voicemails, texts, facebook messages, and emails (come on, who doesn’t love that part?!), I realized that at least a third of them were from the generation above me.

I have old friends!

Am I just a lucky-son-of-a-gun (or a total weirdo)? How did these relationships happen? To be honest the initial ones began providentially (and were slightly awkward); being assigned a set of host parents when I was a missionary, being plugged into a coaching-tree at my job, and meeting with the parents of the girls from my youth group.

Getting over the initial unease of conversing with someone old enough to be my parent (or grandparent), I soon realized the hidden gem that these relationships are.

I once heard that the best way to get to know someone is to ask a favor of them; I’ve continually found this to be true in the case of seeking mentorship—as people want to share their life experiences and wisdom with others.

The benefits of intergenerational friendships

I’ve since continued to be intentional (albeit sometimes unsuccessfully) about seeking out mentors in my life: sitting by middle-aged and elderly couples at coffee and donuts after church, readily accepting invitations from my boss to come over and spend time with his family, making a point to engage with my aunts and uncles at family gatherings, going on a pilgrimage with a group of people where I brought down the median age by a good 20 years—what I realized is that these opportunities are everywhere, we simply have to engage in them!

Taking the time to invest in them has brought so much fruit and wisdom into my life; I’ve gotten to see how different couples make their marriages work, how a priest responded to his calling, how a woman who exudes peace and confidence overcame hard obstacles in her life, and what current CEOs wish they would’ve known at the start of their career.

I get to witness the spiritual walk of those who I would like to become 10, 20, and 40 years from now. I get to hear the backstory of how those people got there. I get to work at slowly lessening the gap of what I don’t know vs. what I do know. All of this because I take the plunge and ask for a coffee date or to join in on a family dinner with those I’m inspired by, and it has been an invaluable gift.

I have young friends too...

Learning to share the wealth, another third of those birthday well-wishes were from those who keep me updated on all the latest Taylor Swift songs and fashion trends (seriously, when did scrunchies come back into style?!); in other words, the younger generation.

Seeking out mentors is one part of the equation, but being a mentor is the other part. Those who have experienced being a mentor can testify to the truth that truly investing in someone and providing guidance in their walk of life is such an incredible and life-giving privilege, one that we’re all called to partake in.

Though the fruits of that privilege definitely take time to realize, the part of the dance of life where it’s your turn to lead another is so fun! Not only does it help you live to a higher standard, knowing that others look-up to and model you, but it provides a natural outlet to reflect upon different seasons of your life and recognize how God was right there smack-dab in the middle of it the whole time.

We weren’t created to walk this life alone, and we aren’t called only to engage and invest in those who seem obvious to us. Mentorship, both the giving and receiving ends of it, helps to guide us in the future, put the past in perspective, and breathe life into the here and now. Take time to recognize the gift of those around you, and who God could be inviting you to meet in a whole new way. Coming from a self-professed intergenerational junkie, trust me when I say that it’s worth the effort.