Why You Should Choose A DIY Wedding

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Your wedding.

Ponder that phrase for a moment. Your wedding. Your wedding should look like you.

There's a whole bridal industry dedicated to getting you to spend, spend, spend on all the details that go into making the perfect day. The question is, what is perfect?

The more you stick to the magazine ideal of perfect, the more likely you are to end up with a wedding that costs a bundle and looks like it could be anybody's wedding.

Brides are aware of this problem.

So in quest of individuality, some opt for theme weddings.

Or destination weddings.

https://www.bestdestinationwedding.com/gateway_redirect.php?act=img&id=396107

(Source)

So...then theme and destination weddings become the trend. Just sayin'.

How about this? If you really want your wedding to stand out from the crowd, go for the one inimitable thing.

A YOU wedding

When I look back at our wedding nearly thirty years ago, what stands out to me is not so much the parts that went according to bridal magazine plan, but the parts that were distinctly our own. My artist sister-in-law's marzipan cake topper that she made to look just like us, my brother's beautiful rendition of Panis Angelicus at Communion, my two sisters and I spontaneously singing our favorite dish washing song, Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy at the reception.

We have three daughters married now and one getting married next year. Each time, we've made even more personal memories. Since we have lots of kids, lots of friends, and not a lot of money, we've had to be creative just to stay within the budget. People think it's a handicap to have to do things yourself but I thank God for it because we had a blast.

When our first bride got married, an idea came to me. We have a lot of talented friends. We asked that instead of giving the bride and groom a standard gift or a wad of cash, they would contribute their own special talent to the wedding. We made sure it was something they would enjoy doing. We wanted them to have fun being part of the wedding. The result was that for little to no money, through our own efforts and theirs, we were able to cover: the rehearsal dinner, the choir, the DJ, the decorations, the cake, the cookies, the flowers, the photographer, the alterations, and the hair and make up and more.

Initially, it was about saving money but it turned out to be way more fun that way and way more personal. Here a couple of snapshots.

Rehearsal dinner

Credit: Hub Willson

This is traditionally the groom's parents' responsibility but in the case of our daughter Katie's groom, John, the parents didn't have much money either. So we had a potluck in the church basement after the rehearsal and asked the members of the bridal party to help bring a dish or drink. It didn't have to be fancy or expensive.

What John's parents saved in cost, they contributed to the wedding itself. Having the rehearsal dinner at church gave us the freedom to play our own music and dance and stay as late as we wanted.

We did similar for our daughter, Molly's wedding, only, since her groom's mom is a chef, she created a lovely supper for us. I brought dessert. Steve, the groom's dad and my husband and I sang a three part rendition of Lutkin's May the Lord Bless You and Keep You to the bride and groom.

At each rehearsal dinner, we had fun arranging the church flowers and making the bridal bouquets. We first watched Youtube videos to learn how and then bought the flowers at a local farmer's market. We stored them in buckets in the church fridge over night and simply grabbed them the next day.

Music from the Heart

What's a celebration without it? Music expresses joy so it should come from the heart. Our family happens to belong to a pretty awesome choir. We do Gregorian chant and sacred polyphony. So for Katie's and Gracie's weddings, after the bridal march, some of us slipped upstairs to join our friends.

Singing for my daughters' weddings is on my top ten list of best things I've ever done. It was a gift that blessed the receivers and the givers. Gracie's mother in law, Sheila, was so moved that she came to me in tears afterward. Our home grown music carried over into the receptions too. At Katie's wedding, the DJ played Sweet Caroline at dinner and the whole room spontaneously chimed in with the music and sang it during dinner.

Imagine two hundred people, many of whom don't know each other, coming together in one unplanned merry-making moment. It was John's mom's favorite part of the night. At Gracie's wedding, two friends played guitar and fiddle while Gracie and her dad danced to Ashokan Farewell. And at every wedding, our guests have joined us in singing to the bride and groom as they drove away

I realize that our details will not be your details. Therein lies the charm. Your wedding should be yours and not just like someone else's. Someday when you look back, it will be your particular personal touches that you will remember and love the best. You can't put a price tag on that.

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