In June of 2020, Raymond clicked on Alexis’ CatholicMatch profile. He was fascinated by her pictures because she used photos from throughout her adulthood and looked different in each one! He recalled, “I had almost no actual idea what she was going to look like in person!” Nevertheless, he persisted and sent his first message to his future wife.
She was captivated by his quiz
Alexis described his message as “so polite and considerate” that she couldn’t decide whether “he was being super nice or creepy”! But when she clicked on his profile, she was immediately intrigued! Within it, he referenced Weird Al Yankovic, made clear his love for the Catholic Faith, and crafted a quiz with questions like:
1. What is your favorite mythology?
a. Greek b. Norse c. Hindu d. Japanese e. Middle Earth
2. What is most important?
a. Absolute Love b. Absolute Truth c. Absolute Goodness d. Absolute Joy
3. How much do you tip?
a. 5% b .10% c. 20% d. 50% e. They tip you!
She wrote back, communicating her interest but also being clear about her purpose for being on the dating site. While Raymond had had “an off and on relationship” with CatholicMatch over time but was ultimately seeking a like-minded spouse, Alexis had joined CM mostly to appease her mother!
Alexis clarified that her mom had encouraged her to try CM after a “really bad breakup” that had negatively impacted her self-worth. Alexis summed up, “I totally had reservations [about joining CM]. In fact, I had very little intention of dating anyone from CatholicMatch and was more looking for friends with similar views and interests because I literally had met no one my age since I graduated college.” Plus, “I generally get along better with guys than girls.”
Despite the disclaimer, Raymond remained unfazed, and messaged her anyway. Both quickly sensed an “instant connection” even just through virtual interactions. Just four days later, they met for their first in-person date—on Father’s Day! They met for Mass in the Michigan town where Alexis was living, and then got coffee and went on a walk afterward. The walk lasted such a long time that to this day Alexis has scars on her ankles from the sandals she wore! As an added bonus, on the same day he met her for the first time, Raymond also met Alexis’ entire family!
He shared his favorite hobby with her
Over the following one year and one month that followed, Raymond and Alexis got to know each other better. He works as a bank teller, with a plan to become a Computer Support Technician. She works as an Analytical Chemist. He grew up in Sparta, Michigan, where they now reside, whereas she has lived in many different places. He introduced her to an interest near and dear to his heart that quickly became a shared hobby, Historical Fencing (also known as Historical European Martial Arts or HEMA)! Raymond commented, “Alexis has also gotten to have fun swinging swords around and meeting [my] very eccentric friends that go with that.”
During their time dating, they navigated the challenge of distance and the attendant gas money costs, as they lived about an hour-and-a-half apart. Additionally, Raymond continued to discern his vocation to marriage particularly in the context of openness to (hopeful) fatherhood, since both he and Alexis “believe to be an essential and beautiful consequence of marriage.” He realized he definitely did want to pursue marriage when he recognized that “I wouldn’t be raising a child alone. I’d be doing it with a partner and I wanted that partner to be Alexis.”
She said this when he proposed!
After 244 dates, which took place over one year and one month’s time, Raymond was ready to propose. Alexis remembered, “He wrote a beautiful note, then had an amazing speech that [I] don’t remember because I got too excited.” She was also so busy looking at the smile on his face that she didn't notice when he opened the ring box upside down! After his “elegant” speech asking Alexis to do him the honor of becoming his wife, Alexis instantly responded with "hell yeah!" But right away she clapped her hand over her mouth and corrected herself, “Yes, please!” 11 months later, in June of 2022, the couple were married at the same church where they’d met in person for the first time.
So much wedding day excitement….and a few mishaps!
Every couple has humorous mishaps of some kind on the day of their wedding, and Raymond and Alexis were no exception! The morning of their wedding, Raymond forgot to pack his suit pants, so he drove home and then back to the church. Fortunately, he was back in plenty of time, and arrived even before the Deacon came to unlock the doors. For Alexis’ part, she helped her sister apply her bridal party makeup, but was so shaky due to nervousness that she poked her sister in the eye with the mascara wand! During the wedding ceremony itself, Raymond forgot which hand the wedding band went on. He held out both and said “which one?” but still proceeded to give Alexis the wrong hand! Afterward, at the reception, excitement, and nervousness combined to make both of them forget much of their first dance, so “we wound up just laughing and swaying in each other’s arms by the end of it.” Fortunately, both Raymond and Alexis chose not to take themselves, or the day, too seriously.
Funny business notwithstanding, they look back fondly on their wedding day and all the big and small (sometimes ridiculous) things that made it uniquely and especially their own. One tradition they chose to incorporate honored Raymond’s German heritage. At their wedding reception, they drank together from a Nuremberg bridal cup, a symbol of “good luck, love, and faithfulness.”
Words of advice for other singles...
Fast forward to now, and Raymond and Alexis are proud first-time parents to baby Amanda! They’re so grateful to God and CatholicMatch for bringing them together. Asked what advice they have for others considering signing up, Raymond advised, “Don't be afraid to put yourself out there and be vulnerable.” Alexis shared, “Do it for fun. Even if your conversations with people don't end up in a relationship, you'll get to meet some interesting people and learn more about yourself and what you want and need from a relationship for when the right person does come along.”
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