Why the March for Life is Personal This Year

This past November I had my second trimester ultrasound. The test usually runs about an hour to two, and it's truly fascinating how detailed the pictures are of the baby's anatomy, scanning the four chambers of the heart, the four quadrants of the brain, the kidneys, the palate of the mouth, including each joint and bone in the fingers and toes. But when the technician left the room and came back with a colleague for a second opinion to take more pictures of my daughter's foot, I knew something was wrong. Technically, they're not allowed to tell me if something is wrong since a medical diagnosis can only be made by a doctor. They tried to reassure me by telling me how beautiful she is, but it didn't change the fact that my daughter had a club foot.

The following day we went for a second ultrasound with a fetal specialist. Because of my daughter's constant activity, we were unable to see all of her heart and spine either day, which didn't exclude her from other abnormalities. When a baby has a club foot, there's a 50 percent chance there are other abnormalities associated with it. Some of those cause the child to be severely disabled after birth, stillborn, or only able to live for a short time after birth. The rest of the time the club foot is an isolated defect. It was hard to believe that a baby this active could possibly not be in perfect health.

We waited over an hour for the doctor to see us after the exam. I was tired, hungry (I hadn't eaten in four hours), and thirsty. When the doctor finally came, she confirmed the club foot deformity. She was really bothered to learn we refused genetic testing in our first trimester and encouraged us to do what testing we could to gather information about my daughter's health. Since I was at risk for miscarriage and preterm birth, I was surprised she suggested an amniocentesis. I refused, reminding her the test was too risky. She chose her words carefully as she said, "Often times with the club foot, there is a greater chance of something else wrong, in which case, the family decides it's too much for them to handle."

My husband pressed her to be direct, "What do you mean 'too much to handle'?"

The doctor continued, "Well sometimes, for some families, it's just too much to go through and manage, so they decide to terminate the pregnancy. So the sooner you find out the results of these tests, the sooner you can plan for the future." Furious she'd imply our child was undesirable because of her condition, I gently told her we already had one cripple in the family (from a different health complication), so I'm sure we could handle another. Her attitude changed to compassion after that. I was shocked that parents are pressured to get more tests and "make a decision for the future" based on tests that aren't even 100% accurate.

On the way home from that appointment, I cried, not because the doctor suggested that my youngest daughter's life was worth less than her older sisters who were born without birth defects, but because other children, who are just like my daughter, are discarded like tumors, because the parents can't handle the abnormalities. Whatever happened to equality?

The next four years will be daunting as we begin treatment shortly after birth to correct the abnormality in my daughter's foot. Recovery is mostly dependent on the parents daily diligence in home care, and even then, sometimes it isn't 100% correctable. Between managing multiple jobs, the household, other kids, a chronic illness in another family member, it will take a lot of grace and nothing short of a miracle to get through it. Every parent experiences moments where they feel they can't handle another day. Then our hearts stretch to grow in love, just like any other muscle in a strength training exercise. Her life is still a gift, and nothing can ever change that.

Please join me in prayer to St. Seraphina to intercede for all those children conceived with abnormalities whose parents are tempted to end their lives out of fear. Please pray for the sonographers who are on the front lines of these diagnoses, who see the beauty in the uniqueness of each baby. Pray for the OB/GYNs, who will remember their oath as doctors to care and preserve the lives of both patients, mother and child.

Pray for all those at the March for Life today in Washington D.C. that their voices will be heard since so many have been silenced without a choice.