Joe and Elena’s first date started out normally enough.
They met at a coffee shop in Elena’s hometown for drinks and ice cream. Then, they decided to go for a walk along the riverside, even though it was a blazing hot day in late May. About an hour and a half in, Joe could feel the conversation loosen up. He could also feel a whole lot of dripping sweat (from the heat and his nerves!) and he was surprised at Elena’s reaction.
“Elena didn’t seem grossed out. She accepted my natural human physiological reaction to hot weather! I remember Elena even held my hand when we crossed the street on the way back to the parking lot,” Joe recalls. This realization of the fact that he could be at ease with himself and with her...solidified his feelings for her!
Elena also didn't take long to come to the knowledge that this might end up being the real deal. “I was wearing sandals and found out later that I got really bad blisters, but I was so focused on Joe that I couldn’t remember my feet hurting! I remember how easy and comfortable it was to hold his hand. It just felt right.”
Though the couple met via CatholicMatch, they both had some preconceived notions about online dating.
Elena had a lot of skepticism about finding a spouse online. “All I had to go on was my friend’s word that he knew people who had been successful. Messaging strangers made me a little nervous.”
Joe agrees. “It took me several years of seeing friends meet their future spouses online before I judged it as an acceptable way to pursue a spouse. I came to see that God could work through online dating. I had erroneously viewed online dating as a way of taking matters into my own hands rather than trusting God.”
A few years prior, Joe had left the monastery and briefly dated a friend.
He quickly realized how critical it was for his future spouse to be Catholic. “I figured the surest and most direct way to find a woman who wants to ardently practice the Catholic faith is on CatholicMatch,” he reasons. Elena was also searching for a strongly Catholic man after realizing she had a vocation to marriage, and figured CatholicMatch was the place to find such a man. She was a member for just two months when Joe contacted her. Joe himself had only been on the site for two days!
They communicated for a few weeks before meeting in person.
When Joe saw Elena’s profile, he first liked her smile and then discovered she was interested in Latin liturgy. He centered on that detail for his introduction message. Elena messaged Joe back before she even looked at his profile. Once she did, what really got her was a photo of him playing music with his niece. “I thought, he might be good with kids; that’s what I’m looking for. So I decided to keep talking to him and see where things would go.”
And go they did. Their first date was so positive that Joe, a musician, felt their conversation flowed as easily as being in the zone during a music performance. They both quickly agreed to a second one, then a third. On their fourth date, they went to Mass together at Joe’s parish, and then had a brunch picnic with some amazing blueberry muffins. Joe read "The Little Prince" aloud to Elena, and she realized she could listen to him for hours. Next, they went wading in the creek. “When we were done walking in the creek, I sat on the bank and Joe washed my feet. I decided at that moment that I loved him and had to marry him!” Elena relates.
Though the courtship has been fairly quick, it hasn’t always been filled with music and muffins.
Joe reports that they both still live with their parents, as finances have been a challenge for both of them. He is impatient about achieving financial independence and the uncertainty that comes with it. As for Elena, she is only three years out of a past abusive four-year relationship. “Part of the healing process was bringing up things that were hard for me to talk about and hard for Joe to hear. I’m finishing up trauma work with my therapist and feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. The hardest part is over, and now we can move forward in God’s grace toward a beautiful future together.”
Elena also speaks of Joe’s support. “I most appreciate that he truly listens to what I have to say. I remember one conversation where he told me, ‘You’re worth listening to.’ No one had ever told me that, and it gave me a new sense of confidence!” Joe adds, “Now that I’ve known Elena for a while, I appreciate most her concern to make a positive impact on the world utilizing the massive intellectual gifts God has bestowed upon her.”
Joe and Elena plan to marry on October 9th of this year.
Through the course of their engagement, they have had to learn how to navigate areas of disagreement as a team rather than compromising. But planning for the wedding has been a breeze! “We almost always have similar tastes,” Elena explains. “Joe is writing all the musical settings for the Mass, my mom is making my wedding dress, and family and friends are helping with the decorations and wedding favors.”
Joe firmly believes it would have been highly unlikely for him to have met Elena without CatholicMatch. “Clearly, God put Elena and me in a position to meet on CatholicMatch!”
