They lived in neighboring towns and had many mutual friends. They sometimes went to Mass at the same church. They had once been to the same wedding. And their parents had even been on a trip together and talked about them.
But Kyle and Tricia didn’t meet each other until they became members of CatholicMatch. Even then, it took over a year—for each them—before they found each other online.
Before CatholicMatch, they had found it hard to meet people. “I was beyond the typical ‘bar scene’ for meeting people that seemed to work for other people I knew, and wanted to find someone that shared similar values and beliefs,” Kyle said, who was in his early 30s when he joined the site.
Tricia, who was approaching her late 20s, wasn’t into the bar scene either and didn’t see a lot of ways to meet “quality guys.” “I signed up for CatholicMatch because I had dated guys that weren’t Catholic and I finally decided I need to put faith at the top of my list of qualities I looked for in a relationship,” Tricia said.
Tricia’s own faith was what Kyle says attracted him to her. “I was looking to strengthen my faith, and I thought that this would be a great opportunity to learn how I might live more similarly to Tricia,” he said. He also noted how important family was to her. He lived near some extended family members and had bought his parents’ house in rural Michigan, where his father had been raised.
A love of travel brought them together, but also kept them apart
Tricia likewise was drawn to his devotion to his faith and family. And one other thing: a picture of him on a trip to Germany.
“I liked that he had traveled to another country,” Tricia explained. “I enjoy traveling so I thought we would have that in common. Our communities also have a large German heritage so I thought that was cool that he’d been there since my family is German.”
Before they met in person their relationship briefly became a long-distance one while Tricia went on a trip to Spain.
Even though they had only been chatting for only two weeks, they decided to continue to talk during the trip and exchanged numbers. “I will mention that while I was in Spain he didn’t get scared off as I sent him a video of the Mediterranean Sea and photos from my trip—and he hadn’t even met me yet!” Tricia said.
They finally met in person at a Cajun restaurant. They talked for hours and were the last to leave for the night. They continued to date on week nights and went for walks—to the mall, a path outdoors, and a nature trail. They talked about their lives and their plans for the future.
Both desired small-town life in the country
Sometimes opposites attract. But so does sameness. “We both have similar personalities and demeanors. For example, we both can be fairly indecisive, which ended up being comical as we would try to sit down and pick out a place for dinner or somewhere to go for a date,” Kyle said.
“As soon as we began talking about future goals and I realized that she was open to living in a small rural community, I knew that she was the one,” he added.
For Tricia that moment came on her birthday in June 2016, when Kyle was able to “fit right in” with her family. His continued surprises for her—a combination of flowers, cards, and meals—over the next few months won her over. “He’s thoughtful, kind, and a gentleman which I appreciate,” she said.
“During our short time of dating or courtship, she often challenged me with unique questions and thought provoking statements about ideas, beliefs, and the future. I began to witness how caring and thoughtful my fiancée was through her many kind actions and words. I tried to keep up and demonstrate how much she meant to me too, but somehow always felt that her ideas and actions were so much more original that mine,” Kyle said.
The most nerve-wracking moment for men—the proposal!
Once he knew she was “the one” Kyle went into “planning mode.” For Kyle that turned into a six-week process that entailed ordering a customized ring and creating a slideshow of their seven months of dating.
He was also very deliberate about the date. “I knew I wanted to make it a truly special event, so I could not tie it in with just any other event or holiday,” Kyle said. He settled on December 8—safely in between Christmas and Thanksgiving but also one of the most important feast days—the Immaculate Conception.
Once he had surreptitiously secured her father’s permission, Kyle went into the final steps of preparation. He invited her over for a home-cooked meal of steaks and vegetables and suggested that afterwards they could go out walking to look at Christmas lights.
After they had finished their meal the two were about to walk out when Kyle asked if Tricia could first view a presentation he had been working on. Kyle flipped on the television, pulling up a slideshow which played to the song “Yours” by Russell Dickerson, which Tricia had told him she wanted to be her wedding song.
They sat down and watched as their memories flashed past them. But the final slide was different. It had the words, “Will you marry me?”
“I got down on one knee in front of her on the couch and pulled out the ring. I was shaking so much,” Kyle recalled.
“Of course!” Tricia responded.
So close for so long, but together at last
As she looks back on what happened to bring them together, Tricia marvels that there were so many missed opportunities for them to run into each other. Their story illustrates the importance not only of looking for the right person but also having the right timing.
“I think our relationship is the most special because God could have had us meet a dozen other times or ways living in such close proximity but we both had to be open to putting ourselves out there before the time was right for us to meet,” Tricia said.
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