After being on CatholicMatch for a few years, though, Melissa felt that things were not really working out. Having recently been in a relationship through CatholicMatch that didn’t go so well, she decided to take a break and reset.
A few months later, though, Melissa felt God calling her to get back on and try again. Even though she didn’t feel entirely ready, she decided to re-open her profile!
Meanwhile, Brian had been single for the past 17 years. During those years, Brian felt that he wasn’t called to date. People thought he was crazy! Earlier in his 20’s, Brian had discerned the priesthood for a time, but he always felt he was called to marriage. He knew God had a plan.
Everything changed on the Thanksgiving weekend of 2020.
Brian was spending some time outdoors when he felt the Lord calling him to pray about his vocation and to give online dating a try. Trusting that God and the Blessed Mother could lead him to his spouse in this way, Brian decided to make himself a profile on CatholicMatch. Within 10 minutes of creating his profile, he received a message from Melissa!
Melissa had been going through the new member section on CatholicMatch that day when she noticed Brian for the first time. She knew what she was looking for, and Brian seemed to have the qualities she admired most.
“I knew that I wanted someone who clearly had developed a prayer life, was very serious about the faith, and very active in the faith,” Melissa shares.
She also wanted “someone really fun and goofy,” because that is how she is!
Brian’s profile stood out to her because he seemed to take his faith seriously and also didn’t seem to take himself too seriously to have fun. She loved seeing some fun pictures he had on his profile! So, Melissa decided to reach out to him.
When Brian received her message and looked at her profile, he thought, “Wow, it’s like I wrote this profile.” Brian was looking for “someone who was really serious about pursuing the Lord and discerning his voice,” and Melissa seemed perfect. He could tell that she was very serious about her faith, and he also loved that she seemed fun, adventurous, and outdoorsy!
They started chatting online, and in December, they talked on the phone for the first time! Brian remembers coming away from that first phone conversation with the feeling that they had just
scratched the surface of all the things they could talk about and learn about each other. “There are oceans of depth here,” he thought.
Melissa and Brian continued talking online for the next three months.
“We could just carry on conversations for long periods of time,” Melissa shares. “I really struggle with that sometimes,” she continues, “but we were able to just have fun conversations, conversations about adventures, and also about philosophy and theology and critical thinking. That carried us out those first few months before we could actually meet.”
At the time, Brian and Melissa lived far away from each other––Brian in Illinois and Melissa in Colorado. Brian was teaching at the time, and it was difficult for him to take time off to travel. Melissa, a park ranger at the time, lived in a remote area that was expensive to fly to.
Finally, after 4 months of chatting online, Melissa and Brian planned a trip to Moab, Utah during April of 2021!
Moab, an adventure getaway, was a great place for hiking and rafting! It was the perfect spot for two people who loved adventures. Melissa found a hostel for them to stay in and was happy they would have a comfortable and appropriate place to sleep.
Their trip was a huge success! “We had a blast!” Melissa recalls. They went out to dinner and went on many great hikes in the days that followed, and their conversation just kept flowing!
“There were no nerves! It was just exciting and fun,” Melissa remembers.
A couple days into their trip, they made their way back to Melissa’s hometown. Brian was exhausted from all the hiking, but seized the opportunity to meet Melissa’s parents, and they all went out to dinner. Melissa also brought Brian to see Black Canyon National Park––the park where she was working as a ranger at the time!
Both Melissa and Brian share that the highlight of the trip was praying together in Melissa’s town church.
As soon as they walked into the church, Brian noticed a large, beautiful painting of Mary. He felt drawn to it instantly, and felt Mary’s love for him at that moment. “It was a real blessed moment––extremely powerful,” Brian shares. Melissa had a very similar, profound experience.
They were not sure if this experience meant something for the two of them, or if it was merely a sign of God’s love to each of them individually. They prayed there for a while, and had a growing sense of peace that God just wanted each of them to be present with him at that moment. This experience helped them to realize that they were called to have a relationship with God first, and then with each other.
“It communicated something that we both knew but didn’t really discuss,” Melissa shares. “Our philosophy of relationship is that, yes, God brings people together and the two become one, but there’s still that individual journey with Christ, and that can never be lost,” she continues.
When Brian flew back to Chicago, he couldn’t believe how well the trip had gone. Over the next 3 months, Brian and Melissa continued to experience God’s grace in their relationship.
These months were not without their challenges, though. Brain and Melissa both share that they experienced spiritual attacks during those months, and that they would continue to experience these attacks throughout their relationship.
When Melissa moved to a new apartment in Illinois to be closer to Brian, it was painful for her to leave her friends and family and the things she loves to do in Colorado. She knew that God was calling her to move closer to Brian, but says that making that sacrifice definitely led to some spiritual battles.
Melissa and Brian supported one another through these challenges and worked to fortify themselves against spiritual attacks through prayer.
In July of 2021, Brian––who loves surprises and taking Melissa on adventures––told Melissa to pack her things for a camping trip!
She had no idea what to expect!
He took her to a lake in Wisconsin and surprised her with jet skiing! Eventually, they stopped on a tiny little island in the lake, and Brian gave Melissa a letter. He often wrote poems and letters while dating, but this seemed different. In the last line of the letter, Brian told Melissa to turn around. She did––and there he was, on his knee, waiting to propose!
“I had no expectation of that, and it was such a surprise! It was so cute and thoughtful and intentional and just super fun!” Melissa shares.
They didn’t realize it at the time, but the day Brian proposed was also the Feast of the Transfiguration, and this is very symbolic and significant to them!
After a 4 month engagement, Brian and Melissa got married on November 21 of 2021, on the Feast of the Presentation of Mary! They had a small wedding at St. Mary parish in Woodstock, Illinois.
After traveling to Hawaii for their honeymoon, they returned to Illinois for their first year of marriage!
They are thrilled to welcome their first baby into the world this month!
Looking back on God’s plan for their lives, Brain and Melissa each share some closing words of advice. “Be attentive to the ways that God stirs you,” Melissa advises, “and listen to your intuition.” Even when God doesn’t tell you exactly what to do, she says, he often makes it clear what not to do.
Brian also shares a few practical words of wisdom: “As you wait to find your spouse, don’t idolize relationships. Put God first and then start to listen to His voice. . . Be patient, keep the faith, and keep active in your life. Live each day fully; you are not just waiting!”
As they begin their family, Melissa and Brian continue to lead others to deeper faith. Melissa is currently a youth minister for a highschool and runs the confirmation program at the Church Brian grew up going to. Brian continues teaching at a public highschool in their town. The two also have a podcast called “Life Talks” where they share helpful stories and advice on Catholic living.
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