Jen had been on CatholicMatch less than a week when she saw Brian’s profile. He had only been on the site for three days. Jen had reached out to a few other people but hadn’t heard back, so she decided to like Brian’s profile. After that, he messaged her. It turns out, Jen was the only person he ever contacted on CatholicMatch!
Both were previously married. Brian had eight children, five still living at home, and Jen had three children who had already moved out of the house. Brian had dated non-Catholics before but realized he only wanted to move forward with a Catholic. Jen had explored a non-Catholic dating site, but felt the same as Brian. Whenever she met someone, she always asked first if they were Catholic or had gone to Mass that day. “I need to just focus on those who are practicing Catholics,” she decided.
Initially, Jen was a bit hesitant about online dating.
“I didn’t have great experiences before CatholicMatch and no one responded,” she said. Jen was also concerned about fake profiles. “But, once I determined Brian was a real human being, then it was a little easier.”
After chatting for about three days on CatholicMatch, they decided to meet in person in Oklahoma City, not far from where they each lived.
They met at a downtown park. It was the same night the OKC Thunder basketball game was canceled because a Utah player had contracted Covid. It was early March 2020 and the world was about to go on lockdown. But, that wouldn’t stop their budding romance.
That evening, they walked in the park, enjoyed deep conversation at the Lighthouse restaurant, had coffee, and drove around the city. They met at 5 p.m. and didn’t head back to their respective homes until 2 a.m. They made arrangements to meet the next night.
“I knew when I met him for dinner, it was it for me,” Jen said.
“This is the man I’m going to marry. There was a connection I’ve never felt with another human being.”
Jen and Brian went to Mass together the first weekend after they met, but then the lockdown went into effect and Masses became virtual. But, they lived only 20 miles apart, so they kept seeing each other at their houses. “We were locked down together,” Brian said. “The pandemic helped us. Instead of going out on a date once a week, we were able to spend more quality time together.”
The new couple built a shed and finished a deck at Jen’s house to keep busy during the pandemic. “We read books together, things we wouldn’t have normally done,” Jen said. “When you can’t leave the house, you find the things to do,” Brian said. They journaled together and went fishing at a neighborhood lake.
In May, about two months after meeting, Brian sent Jen an article about discerning marriage.
“I guess he’s serious about this,” Jen remembered. In June, they started going through the article together, piece by piece, and being very intentional about what the future might hold.
Jen and Brian went to separate parishes, but learned they mutually knew a local priest, so they went to him for counsel. “He knew our stories separately so he knew where we were,” Jen said. “It was nice to have him bring us together and focus on the two of us.”
As their relationship progressed, Jen remembered marveling at how fortunate she felt. “It was still so new, it was hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that I found someone I was so connected with,” she recalled. “I didn’t realize God could make another human being just for me. Is this still real? How is this possible?”
Brian felt the same.
“All the missing pieces of my life with another person, I found with Jen,” he said. “God put us on CatholicMatch at the right time.”
Before meeting Jen, Brian had already started the annulment process for his previous marriage of 20 years. “This is important to do so that I can move forward,” Brian recalled. “I thought my vocation was as a husband and father, and the only way I could do that was to get it done.”
Jen had also gone through the annulment process, she had previously been married 26 years. “It was hard, emotional,” she said. Even though she wanted to be done with that part of her life, there was still some sadness. But, knowing what might lie ahead made it easier. “I looked at where I’m going,” she said. Both their annulments were granted.
On November 20, eight months to the day they met, Brian proposed. They went shopping, then to dinner at the Lighthouse, where they had their first date.
Brian proposed at sundown, then surprised Jen by taking her to a different restaurant where their friends and parents were waiting to celebrate.
Brian had set up the gathering of 25 people in advance. “He pulled off a grand gesture,” Jen said. “It was pretty awesome.”
Their engagement was short. Their mutual priest friend suggested having an engagement rite. All of their children attended the rite, where they stood in front of their families while the priest talked about their intentions and God’s role in marriage. Then the priest asked the parish to bless their union.
On February 6, 2021, they held their wedding. Jen spent the morning alone at her house. “It was such a beautiful morning for me to prepare,” she recalled. “I prayed a lot, did my readings. When I got to the church, I was so ready.”
At the same time, Brian was busy coordinating his kids, getting them dressed and to the church on time for the 1 p.m. wedding. Their families and friends and all their children attended. “Everyone we wanted to have there was there,” Jen said.
That night, they stayed in downtown Oklahoma City at a brand new hotel that overlooked the park where they first met.
Since then, they have been enjoying their married life, going back and forth between their two houses, according to their work and childcare schedules. When Brian has his children, he and Jen stay at his house.
“Getting used to the fact that we have kids out of the home, then five more kids again means adjusting to a new normal,” Jen said. Blending a family and getting used to each other is a gradual process, the couple said, so they prioritize everyone being comfortable and not adding more stress. “We’re keeping it slow and casual,” Jen shared.
Since getting married Brian and Jen say their friends consistently remark how different they seem. “When people see us together, they see two different people, people they didn’t know before we knew each other,” she said. “Everyone would say ‘You seem so much happier as individuals and a couple than I’ve ever known you to be.’”
“God has a rhythm for us and he helped us find it,” Brian said. “We’re in the rhythm now, firing on all cylinders.”
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