He had long, strawberry blond hair and an earring in his left ear. He wore a leather jacket and combat boots, drove a sports car with a sweet sound system, and played bass in a rock band. His name was Peter. I met him my first summer home from college at the movie theater where we both worked. I was 18, and he was 22.
Things Aren't Always What They Seem
My parents were horrified when I started dating him. He had been raised Catholic, but he had stopped going to Mass. He liked to tease me that he believed in Thor, the god of his German ancestors. At the time we dated, I was a curious Protestant, and a part of Peter’s appeal was his connection to the Church, even if he wasn’t practicing his faith. My parents were certain I was just dating him because I was going through a terrible phase.
In reality, they had little to worry about. For although my boyfriend looked the rebel, instilled in him was the belief that every person deserved to be treated with dignity. He was not only fun; he was respectful and kind, too. I had met other men who looked clean cut and down-to-earth, yet they used women and treated them like dirt. This man treated women like gifts.
You Are A Gift
My favorite times with him were when we hung out with his family. Peter was the fifth of six kids. He and his younger sister were the only ones still living at home while they worked and went to college. They l
oved telling stories about growing up in a large family. His parents were happy and full of warmth, doing whatever they could to make people feel accepted.
When we visited Peter’s older sister in the hospital after she had a baby, everyone crowded in the room to celebrate the latest blessing in the family. And really that’s how they all treated each other—as blessings, as gifts.
The Catechism of the Catholic Church states, “Being in the image of God the human individual possesses the dignity of a person, who is not just something, but someone . . . freely giving himself and entering into communion with other persons” (CCC 357).
You are what you believe, and you treat others as you believe them to be. Whether in a romance or friendship, dealing with the neighbor across the street or coping with a sea of people getting in your way, we are all images of God worthy of dignity and meant to be in communion with one another. Humanity messes up most when it forgets that.
Actions Spe
ak Louder Than Words
Although things didn’t work out between Peter and me, I can honestly look back and say I’m glad I knew him. My experience with him was unique.
There were pressures to compromise, even in a Christian college, to do whatever a guy wanted so that I could have the glorious title of “girlfriend.” But he thought I was worth more than just my body.
It wasn’t that he couldn’t be passionate or romantic, it was that he lived his life believing that everyone was worthy of respect.
A part of my journey to becoming Catholic is wrapped up in the idea of God-given dignity.
If we were to abandon the pervasive world philosophy of "the end justifies the means," (that it's OK to use people to get whatever we want) how much richer would our lives be?
CatholicMatch, my perspective grows on how the little things of life add up. I am struck by how many times someone thought something would work out, but it didn't. Or wouldn't, and it did. We honestly don't know what tomorrow will bring.
You can't see how God will use someone in your life, or how He will use you, unless in time it is shown to you. It matters how you treat people.
Your attitudes and actions reach across years and decades. You are making impressions on people, whether it's in a text or at a romantic dinner. If in time you decide that you don’t want to pursue a relationship anymore, there is still a part of you that will stay with the other person forever. Don’t let dignity be an idea in a saint’s book. Live it.
Find Your Forever.
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