My Friends Said I Was Expecting Too Much in a Man

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She said she would never compromise.

Image of Maggie and Brian smiling in a church

“I was told by friends that I will never get married because I am too idealistic and no man can ever meet my qualifications,” Maggie, a lay Carmelite, says. But Maggie knew she would never compromise her faith just for the sake of having someone. She was willing to wait for God’s best timing.

Now 47, Maggie was an on and off member of CatholicMatch from 2008 to 2013, with just one date from it. Then, she returned to the Philippines to care for her aging parents, who both passed away within four years.

Maggie returned to St. Louis, Missouri in November 2018, and rejoined CatholicMatch in February 2019. “I believe CatholicMatch is still the best venue there is to meet a good Catholic man who shares the same values,” she states.

That June, meanwhile, Brian was frustrated with the local Florida dating pool.

Fed up with the whole process, he went for a Friday afternoon drive and stopped by a local Catholic Church. In the parking lot, he logged into CatholicMatch and tried something completely new. He set his search parameters only for the characteristics of potential matches, and erased any geographical limits. Guess who popped right up?

Maggie was online the very moment Brian invited her to chat, and they began talking on the dating site. Brian, now 52, was initially attracted to Maggie because she matched all of his preferred traits: she accepted all the church teachings, attended the traditional Latin Mass like he did, and had a special regard for Venerable Fulton Sheen. And, of course, her photos were beautiful!

Maggie noticed right away that Brian was a convert to the Catholic Faith, and he watched a lot of EWTN, just like she did! Aside from being handsome and attractive, he was also intelligent, well-educated, and devoted to the Eucharist. 

“Coming from a different culture, I did have some reservations at first, but love indeed casts out all fears!” Maggie remembers.

The two quickly became Facebook friends, which helped them become comfortable with each other despite the distance. Brian remarks how nice it was to see highlights of each other’s lives over the past decade. Then they moved to video chatting, which brought a bit of a revelation for Brian.

“I told my eighteen year old son after our first FaceTime chat, which lasted three and a half hours, that I think Maggie’s the one!” he recalls. After a few unsuccessful dates with more local matches, Brian knew he had to meet Maggie in person. Maybe the distance would be worth it! 

So in July of 2019, he flew to St. Louis for a whole weekend. When they met for the first time in the airport, Maggie held his hand tightly as they walked to her car, and handed her keys to him so he could drive them to their AirB&B. (They had separate rooms reserved--strong in their Catholic convictions, remember?) 

“Her complete trust emboldened me and filled my heart with joy. I knew then that it would only be a matter of time. Yep, she’s the one!” Brian says.

“The first time we met was like meeting a long lost friend for the first time,” Maggie remembers. She didn’t trust easily, but with Brian, she felt comfortable the instant she saw him in person.

After a lovely weekend together, Maggie and Brian parted ways knowing they were committed to a long distance relationship.

Maggie was thrilled, because she had been single almost her entire life, waiting for God to bring the right person into her life. Brian, meanwhile, was grateful for the annulment he had pursued back in 2006.

“Most of the (divorced) women I had been dating had unresolved issues, the biggest being unforgiveness and the ability to really trust again,” Brian reflects. He attributes his peace with his past marriage to pursuing an annulment thirteen years prior.

Due to several reasons and a clear defect of form, the annulment process was easier than he expected and was granted within just weeks. Brian believes the particular defect of form was divine providence and connected with his baptism into the Catholic Church when he was age 30.

Their relationship started growing by leaps and bounds.

“There are so many things that I admire about him. His honesty among others which is very important in a long distance relationship,” Maggie says about their dating life.

Brian did not hold back any information about his past, which Maggie found courageous and indicative of his character. His devotion to his grown children and deep concern for his family members also impressed her.

 They connected over the distance by video chatting almost every night for a couple hours. They knew the challenges distance can bring in feelings of isolation, so they set aside daily time to talk to each other despite the time zone difference.

Maggie was due to fly to Florida for the weekend when the news hit about the category four hurricane.

Brian assumed caution would cancel the trip, and was disappointed because he’d planned to propose when she arrived. But to his surprise, Maggie soldiered onward.

“She fearlessly boarded a flight into the path of the storm!” Brian said. When she arrived safely, Brian took her to the same adoration chapel where he had first messaged her online and popped the question. They set their wedding date for April 18 of 2020.

“The toughest thing has been that we have not yet had an opportunity to meet each other’s immediate family,” Maggie reflects on their engagement. Her family resides mostly in the Philippines, and Brian’s only sister lives in Atlanta. Brian and Maggie hope to establish relationships with each other's respective families in the future.

We know God is in charge.

In all of this as well as wedding planning, Brian has come to appreciate Maggie’s purity of heart, her lifetime of service to her faith and family, and her courage.

“Maggie is clearly is not ‘of the world’ and is heaven sent,” he says.

“Saying yes to Brian is like saying ‘yes Lord, I am ready for your plans for us in married life!’” Maggie reflects. “I can be assured there will be no obstacle too difficult for us to conquer with God on our team.”

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