Looking at each other's CatholicMatch profiles, Jesse and Stacey felt an instant attraction. They started messaging each other on January 31, 2015, spending all of February and March getting to know each other from a distance—because she lives in Vermont and he lives in Northern New York. On April 12, they met for the first time for a lovely date that ended with an impromptu slow dance to a John Michael Montgomery song. Jesse and Stacey, who are both in their mid-20s, wanted to share how CatholicMatch is a God-send to Catholics looking to find a like-minded spouse.
Why'd you join CatholicMatch?
Jesse: After dating for a while, I knew who I wanted to date, an authentic Catholic girl. When I came across CatholicMatch, I thought it would be a perfect medium to meet other passionate Catholics. I especially liked that you could see where other people stood on the big teachings of the church when looking at their profiles. It helped to know whether there would be compatibility to start off with when it came to the big issues.
Stacey: After coming out of a lengthy long-distance relationship, I needed to show myself that there were other guys out there—men who were strong in their faith, closer to home and who shared lots of things in common with me. I started looking back on CatholicMatch just to see. I'm not sure if I was actually looking for a match at that moment, but I wasn't going to pass it up if Mr. Right showed up on my screen. I joined again after realizing there were several guys who seemed interesting. I was looking for a husband; someone to share and grow in my faith with.
How long were you a member before you started talking?
Jesse: I was on and off CatholicMatch before without a subscription. But when I met Stacey, I was almost all the way through with my first six-month subscription. I ran across Stacey's profile late one January night when she came up as a possible match I was very
interested, but I didn't message her that night. The next day, much to my surprise, I saw I had a message from her. It started off as a simple “hello” message and she asked one question about why I liked a certain country music artist that I listed on my profile. Something simple enough, but I felt compelled to respond back to her, which I did. And from that point on, our messages went back and forth to one another. We sometimes jokingly refer to our messages as “novels” because they were so long.
Stacey: I was on for about a week before I found Jesse. When I first saw his profile, I was shocked, happy, and in awe that all the things I ever wanted were all written on his page. I didn't want to settle on anything and with Jesse, I didn't have to.
What did you find attractive about each other?
Jesse: In short, everything! But I can be a little more specific. For starters, she is very passionate about her faith. Her eyes and smile always seem to find a way to make me smile whenever I look at her. Her inner beauty is just as stunning as her outer beauty! Her sweet, loving personality always seems to lift my mood, even on the worst day when everything seems to be going wrong. Just talking to her either on the phone or in person helps to brighten my mood and make me crack a smile.
Stacey: I saw several things on his profile that attracted me to Jesse, but it wasn't until I met him in person that they became more pronounced. I loved how involved he was with his faith. I saw his involvement as I stood next to him in Mass on our first date and even more so every time we pray together. Jesse and I share the same sense of humor that fills every conversation, including some of our very first messages on CatholicMatch. Another thing that stands out is that he is a true gentleman. He proved this by driving to my parish for our first date at Mass, by opening the car door, and every door from that day forward. He is very sweet, gentle, and true to his word.
What was your first date like?
Jesse: Well, to provide a more thorough background. Before our first “official” date, we had already been talking online, by text, and by phone calls every day. Because when we first started talking, it was in the heart of winter and there was a considerable distance between us, we decided to meet up on our first official date in the spring, once the weather improved. So by the first date, we already knew quite a bit about each other just from talking day in and day out for several months. On our first date, we attended Mass together. It seemed
appropriate that since God brought us together, the first place we should see each other in person for the first time was in His church. Something felt so right sitting next to her in that pew, something that hasn't gone away since then. Finding someone you can celebrate your faith with is a feeling unlike any other. After Mass, we ate lunch together at a local diner near her hometown, then we headed out to watch a movie together, Furious 7, (as we are both Fast and Furious series fans.) After the movie, we decided to do something spontaneous. We found a waterfront park in a neighboring town. Once we got there, it was quite beautiful. There was a college nearby, so there were lots of students in the park as well. I got some pictures of the waterfront as well as some pictures of Stacey. We walked a short ways along the park and stopped to rest on a bench facing the water. It is at this spot I did something very spontaneous and something I would normally rarely do. I used my phone to play a song by a mutually favorite artist, John Michael Montgomery, and I asked her to dance right there in the park. She seemed quite surprised that I asked her to dance there, especially with all the people walking by. But as I found out later, she loved that moment and both of us blocked out the rest of the world around us for that brief song. To this day, that is still our favorite memory of all our dates.
Stacey: When the day came that I was supposed to meet Jesse, I was overly excited and a bit nervous. The date had been planned for months and it was finally here. As I stood outside the church waiting for him, I grew anxious to see him in person. The only thing I'd seen of him were the photos he'd posted on CatholicMatch. In the couple of hours that followed Mass, I became very comfortable and at ease around Jesse. At the end of the date, I remember thinking that I wanted this friendship to become something more. He really was the real deal and everything he'd written in his profile. I wanted a second date.
What kinds of things do you have in common?
Jesse: It is kind of hard to list these. It seems we have almost everything in common. But to start off, faith! Both she and I are in agreement on all the major teachings of the church, which has helped our relationship to continue to grow day in and day out. We both like country music. John Michael Montgomery, Paul Brandt, Justin Moore, just to name a
few artists. We also enjoy the countryside and walking on hiking trails as often as we can. Photography and documenting nature and the trails we hike is another passion of ours. Finally, we're both fans of classic muscle cars and classic trucks.
Were there any dating hurdles to overcome?
Jesse: Yes. There is a considerable distance between our hometowns. She lives in Vermont and I live in Northern New York. The drive between us is about 3 ½ hours each way. But we both have weekends off, so we've overcome that challenge by having regular day trips almost every other weekend. We also try to meet in the middle as often as we can, so we can make the most of our time together. Another hurdle we've had to overcome has been conflicting work schedules. I work 9-5PM throughout the week and Stacey works 2-10PM, except for in the summer months where we share the same work schedule. Despite this difference in work shifts, it hasn't stopped us from talking every night over the phone after she gets off work. One of our nightly habits while talking on the phone has been praying the 12 year prayer of St. Bridget. We have prayed this prayer every night for almost seven months so far. We have been going very strong in praying this prayer. There has only been a couple of nights where praying it over the phone hasn't been possible.
Stacey: Three and a half hours doesn't sound like much, but when you consider that texting and nightly phone calls are the only form of communication we have for weeks at a time; it makes that distance seem even farther. It makes missing the other person almost unbearable, and we savor every moment together. The time spent together has made wonderful moments and great memories.
What do your family and friends think of your meeting someone online?
Jesse: Good question. I know many times, the culture likes to put an almost negative stigma attached to online dating. But I haven't found that to be the case among my family, friends, and co-workers that know about how Stacey and I met. Everyone I've come across and told how we met has been happy and supportive and thought it was great how we met! I especially think among single Catholics, that turning to an online dating site like
CatholicMatch can not only be helpful but vital in finding a larger pool of single Catholics discerning a vocation to the married life. I know in my parish and even in the surrounding area in my diocese, there are simply not enough Catholic singles around my age. Turning to a site like CatholicMatch to meet other Catholic singles can be a God-send!
Stacey: My friends seemed okay with me dating online however, my parents were a bit skeptical at first. They were mostly worried about the first time I met Jesse. In this day and age, it's so easy for people to lie about themselves and use other people's pictures, especially over social media. My parents just wanted me to be safe, which is why after I met Jesse at Mass and I brought him back to meet my parents. They instantly knew from that first impression that he was good. As they looked from a distance, they were impressed to see him open the car door for me.
